Leveret nodded, sure she’d made the right decision. What point was there in living? Her mother would never trust her again and couldn’t bear to be near her. Yul couldn’t stand the sight of her and Rosie wasn’t speaking to her. She had no friends at school, nobody liked her, and she was now in effect an exile in her own community. And as for Sweyn and Gefrin – she was truly terrified about their threats. They’d made it very clear that together with Jay, they had something really awful in store for both her and Magpie; after witnessing the rabbit incident Leveret knew this was no idle threat.
She knew her mother would be upset that she’d made the choice to pass on to the Otherworld, but in the long run it was for the best. She and her mother could never rebuild their relationship. The trust had died and couldn’t be revived and it was just too painful to carry on like this with her mother despising her. She thought of the other people who might be affected. Marigold in the kitchens was generally very kind to both her and Magpie, and she’d be sad. Clip, who was so wise and different from anybody else she knew – he’d be a little upset perhaps. Leveret thought briefly of her two nieces, Celandine and Bluebell.
Until she’d been banished to Yul’s apartments, she’d despised them as silly, spoilt little girls. But she’d started to get to know them recently and knew that if things had been different, she’d have maybe grown to love them. They certainly seemed to be very fond of her and she’d enjoyed their sweetness and affection. They’d been so distressed by her sadness and depression during this last week, since Maizie had dumped her at the Hall, that Yul had prevented her from seeing them. Leveret had been confined to her room at all times when she wasn’t actually in class or doing chores, and had been banned from any contact with them. Yul had shouted at her for upsetting his daughters but she hadn’t meant to at all. Not that he had believed anything she said.
Yul had been so angry with her, yet again, after Maizie had abandoned her, shouting at her, pushing his face into hers and really frightening her. He’d lectured her endlessly about how selfish and cruel she was and told her how Maizie’s life had been terrible for sixteen years until her father Alwyn had died. This now was their mother’s chance to be happy and content, not feel betrayed by someone she loved. On and on he’d ranted until she could take no more. Leveret didn’t need to be told what an awful person she was – she already knew. She hated herself and knew she was worthless; why else did nobody like her? She’d no friends and was the ugliest girl at Stonewylde, skinny and hideous. Nobody would ever want her. Nobody would even talk to her.
She cringed with embarrassment at the ridiculous hopes she’d nursed about the boy she’d liked. He was perfect – so handsome and popular, so clever and kind, with loads of girlfriends. She’d been stupid to dream that one day he might notice her and ask her to be his girlfriend. She hung her head in shame and self-loathing. Her life was a misery and there was no end in sight. She’d had enough and longed only to leave this place and enter the Otherworld. Once they were there, everything would be better and they could start again. Perhaps Magpie would even have the power of speech.
Leveret rested her hand gently on his bruised and swollen cheek and looked down at him just as he opened his lovely turquoise eyes to gaze deeply into hers. She could feel his thoughts again, thank goddess, for he’d even locked himself away from her. But now he was back and she smiled at him, returning his love.
‘You’re a beautiful boy, Magpie,’ she said softly. ‘Your life has been terrible and you don’t deserve it. You know Levvy loves you too. That’s why we’re going to the Otherworld together. Are you happy to go there with me?’
He nodded, his eyes blazing his need to always be with her.
‘Alright then – let’s do it now before it gets dark.’
She shifted slightly and fished in her cloak pocket for the small bag. Opening the draw-string Leveret pulled out the shrivelled mushrooms. There were four of the dull