‘No. I thought I was going to die – that’s what I wanted.’
He rolled his eyes at this and scowled at her.
‘I just can’t make you out, Leveret. You’ve got everything you could ever wish for. Your life is so easy, so comfortable – why would you want to end it? No, you might have hoodwinked Mother and everyone else but you can’t fool me. This was carefully planned and orchestrated – the act of a clever but completely selfish teenager.’
She was silent at his words and he sat forward to bring himself closer to her. His slanted eyes were beginning to darken with anger.
‘If you could’ve seen the state of Mother when Clip came and found her in the Village that night … I’ll never forgive you for putting her through that.’
‘I’m so sorry about that,’ she whispered. ‘But I thought she didn’t love me anymore so I didn’t think it’d matter to her if I passed on to the Otherworld.’
He laughed harshly, his eyes cold.
‘Don’t be so stupid! You know full well she loves you. You’ve always been the special one – perhaps even her favourite, which is why Sweyn and Gefrin have always resented you.’
Leveret frowned at this – surely not?
‘You were just trying to manipulate her and everybody else and it’s worked, which is what makes me so furious,’ continued Yul. ‘Everybody might be fooled but be assured, Leveret, I’m not. I know your game, and if you ever, ever do anything like that again, I’ll make you wish you’d never been born. Do you understand?’
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘I swear to you I won’t.’
Yul got out of his chair in one fluid motion and she shrank back, not knowing what he was going to do. She used to feel safe with Yul but she certainly didn’t now. He was taut as a bowstring ready to be released, pent up with suppressed energy and anger; he was very frightening. But he strode into the kitchen and brought back the bottle of mead, refilling his glass and gazing into the fire. She sat quietly so as not to antagonise him.
His face in profile was so powerful, the nose and cheekbones perfectly carved, jaw and brow strong. His mouth was drawn into a line of bitter tension and Leveret wondered if once again she were taking the brunt of his anger over something entirely different. She noticed his long, square-tipped fingers drumming on the side of the chair impatiently and then he looked up at her, his grey eyes full of something wild and driven. She found it impossible to look away.
‘You’re to work very hard at school too. I’ll see all your books and all your marks every week. Any slacking and you’ll stay at the Hall again so I can make bloody sure you study.’
‘Yes, I promise I’ll work really hard.’
‘And you’ll help Mother in the house too. I expect you to do a lot of the work. She should be slowing down a bit and taking it easier now, and you can ease the burden for her. Have you noticed how old she’s looking? How tired? There’s grey in her hair and lines on her face that weren’t there until very recently, and that’s your doing. So make sure you take the pressure off her by doing the housework, fetching the water, cooking and tending the vegetables. Is that clear?’
‘Yes Yul, I’ll help her as much as I can.’
‘Hmmn.’
He poured himself another glass and drank it steadily, his boot tapping on the hearth.
‘You were once a really sweet little girl, Leveret, and I loved you.’
His use of the past tense cut her to the quick. He stared at her again, his eyes boring into her.
‘You’re not anymore. Somewhere along the line you’ve turned into a selfish, lazy and heartless young woman. I suppose it’s in your genes – your father’s nastiness had to come out some time. You remind me of him, the way you’ve upset Mother, and that’s why I’m determined to crush this self-centredness out of you.’
Leveret could think of nothing to say to this; she hated to be reminded of her father’s cruelty. She’d heard enough about him to know he’d been a terrible man and the last thing she wanted was to turn out like him.
‘Well? Say something!’
‘I’ll try hard not to be like him. I’m very sorry, Yul, really I am, for everything. I’m turning over a new leaf.’