her hips and down her calves. "I can't." He stopped her pending argument by gently spreading her thighs and looking at her. He wanted to ride her so hard right now that he dared not chance it. She took a deep breath to begin her protest but his French kiss against her wetness transformed it into a seizing gasp.
The difference in her scent and the new density of her love essence made his eyes cross beneath his lids. Everything about her was becomingmore lush , more sensual, thicker, more earthy. The new taste of her and her surprising texture drew a deep moan from inside his chest. Just a little bit . . . no, he couldn't chance it. Her bud was engorged, had become a meaty grape beneath his slow figure-eight attention to it, and yet she was straining, her mind single-focused. Just a little bit . . . he was dryhumping sheets and mattress. Just a little bit . . . he was losing his mind.
Contractions suckled at his tongue as her hips lifted and dipped, trying to capture his fingers and tongue, her voice a low, raw moan of frustration . . . but nothing needed to enter her, he refused to chance it. Refused to givehimself permission to even think about it, regardless of the agony clawing at his scrotum.
Hands under her backside, then holding her hips, he devoured her completely until her voice hit the ceiling. Breathing hard, he stayed with her through the rough tide, hugging her torso until the shattering orgasm ended, and then slowly kissed up her belly, briefly took her mouth, and rolled onto his back panting.
She drew against him like he knew she would and he clenched his jaw so hard that he almost sent his fangs through his bottom lip. She moved to blanket him and all he could do was shake his head. Her body was used to him following through. He could feel her craving him, demanding that their standard not be violated with every slick pelvic rock of temptation. He held her hips firmly, considered insanity for a few seconds, and then breathed out the word, "No." She stopped struggling and kissed down hischest, capturing one of his nipples and making tears fill his eyes.
"I want to return the favor," she whispered, but he grabbed her by her shoulders, halting her slow descent down his body.
"You can't . . . or shouldn't," he said quietly. "Not right now. I'm too . . . justdon't ."
She cradled his face and he closed his eyes. "Why, baby?" she whispered. "You're not contagious, you haven't-"
"Last time I was supposed to be okay. Everybody thought they'd got whatever, that I was cool, but I was carrying around tainted seed from the Chairman's throne . . . shit. I was fucking possessed."
He sat up abruptly with his eyes closed and dropped his head back. "I don't want anything fucked up anywhere near you, understood? I'm not playing around this time, not pushing the edge of the envelope! This thing we've kicked off down there, this time, D, is much worse than fighting Dante, fucking with Cain, or even going up against Lilith-and Padre Lopez told me out of his own mouth that I'm still connected to them. That's how the Light is gonna use me. So, I'm really stressed right now, you gotta give me some space so I can deal."
"All right," she said gently, cupping his cheek with one hand. "I'm hearing you, okay?"
He nodded and winced, keeping his eyes tightly shut.
"But I don't want to leave you like this," she said quietly. "It's just not right . . . how can I do that as your wife? Had I really understood what you were trying to-"
"I'll be cool, just gotta leave it alone and it'll go down, okay."
The pain in his expression made her chew her bottom lip for a moment. "I could-"
"You'll catch a bicep cramp. Ask me how I know . . . go to sleep."
"Oh . . . baby."
"It's cool.For real. I just wanted you to get yours, ya know." He opened his eyes and his voice fractured as he spoke. "Sometimes, woman, I don't know what to do to show you how much I care about you."
"You trust me?"
He looked at her."Absolutely not."
They both chuckled, temporarily relieving the tension, and he finally conceded to a kiss.
"I understand what you're worried about and I promise I won't do anything dangerous," she murmured into his ear and