The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood #13) - J. R. Ward Page 0,195

“Pretty fantastic, actually.”

Pushing against the mattress, he sat up on his elbows and regarded her. “Do you remember what you said? After you … well, you know, when we were down in the clinic the first time? That you were worried you were just another obsession for me to sink into?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if you are? I sank into you before we even hooked up. You probably don’t remember this, but…” He shook his head. “I used to wait for you in the foyer every night.”

“What?”

“Yeah, pathetic. I know. But see, you’d come here to feed V or Rhage, or Luchas, and I’d linger by the front door just in case you came up from the training center—or went down to it from somewhere else in the house. One night—shit, I can remember it clear as anything—you finally made an appearance. I rushed down the big staircase—you were, like, in the foyer when I caught your attention. I stared at you, and thought … this is the most amazing female I have ever seen.” He shrugged and sat all the way up. “You got me then and there, my queen. I’ve been obsessed with you, for good or not so good, waaaaaay before I knew you were sick.”

She smiled a little. “I had no idea. I mean, I knew, when we were up at Rehv’s together and you … well, I knew that … um, you liked me.”

He blinked and saw her naked in that bed of hers at the Great Camp. “Yeah, I was into you then. Way into you.” Grimacing, he said, “Look, I haven’t handled everything well. I should have told you about the particulars of the s’Hisbe stuff, but I was worried it was going to freak you out and make you want to have nothing to do with me. I’ve lost years of my life imprisoned in that palace, and I’ve ruined iAm’s entire existence—I was not going to lose a shot at you because of that crap on top of all of that. And as for my businesses? They’re not legal according to human laws, but I’ve always believed people have a right to make their living in any way they want, as long as they don’t hurt anyone. That’s why, unlike Rehv, I don’t allow drugs to be sold on my premises. The human women are protected when they’re under my roof, they practice safe sex, and they keep ninety percent of what they make. The ten percent I take goes to my electric bills and my bouncers. So, yeah … that’s where I’m at with that.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m really glad you’re being honest.”

“Is there anything else you want to know? As I told you before, I don’t talk about my parents because they’re nothing but biology to me and iAm. They’ve never cared about our welfare. They’ve never been there for us. All along, it’s been iAm and me together, and that’s been enough for both of us. And that’s why they don’t come up.”

Selena came forward haltingly, and sank to her knees beside him on the floor. “Thank you.”

Her eyes were so clear, so blue as they stared up at him.

“For what,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t like showing you weakness. I hate it.”

“It just makes me love you more.” She smiled. “In fact, this honesty right now? Is the single most attractive thing about you.”

Aw, shit. She was going to make him go Kleenex over here.

“I love you so much.” When his voice broke, he cleared it. “More than even my brother.”

“That’s some kind of pledge.”

“Yeah, it is.”

They stayed like that for the longest time, him staring down, her looking up, and in the silence, he realized they had reached the very realest part of who they were as individuals and what they were together. It was the base core of them both, their faults, perceived and actual, on the table, nothing hidden—not her illness, not everything he hadn’t wanted her to know … and their eternity was still intact.

Their love had only been strengthened.

“You have been,” she whispered, “the very best part of my life. You’re such a miracle, it almost makes up for my illness.”

“I’m not that big a blessing.”

“Yes, you are.”

He caressed her cheek with his knuckles. Brushed her lips with his. “So … you wanna go cook me dinner?”

She nodded, and when he offered his palm to help her to her feet, she put her hand in his, the one with the diamond on it.

Her