Shadowlands Sector,Three - Mila Young Page 0,67

eyes.

A hulking outline emerges from the shadows from the direction of the cave. Dušan steps forward, and his eyes are wide, shock palpable on his face. What is he thinking? What a freak I am?

“Fuck, you did it!” he says, and his words soften the hardness in my chest.

“Where there were four, now we have six.” I grin at him.

He closes in to my side, and none of the monsters are going for him. They literally don’t sense him. “This is incredible.”

I look over and search his eyes. “Maybe this is going to work. I think six will be plenty. Easy for me to command and we can go do this now. Sneak into the compound. Right?”

The corner of his mouth twitches with tightness. “We only get one chance to take him by surprise with the zombies. So we need more of them, as Mad’s guards know how to take out the undead.”

I take a step backward. “I think we’re fine like this,” I answer.

He studies me for a long pause. “What’s going on, Meira?” he asks.

I shake my head and look away from him, studying the undead watching us. Like statues, they stand as still as the trunks surrounding us. Getting more of them to follow me isn’t the problem. It’s the process of me doing it and not losing control of my wolf. Each time I transform, I worry this will be the last time before she claims me completely.

“Let’s go see what the others think about how many undead we need,” I suggest and I turn to move, but Dušan steps in my path.

“Meira.” His stern voice carves through me.

“It’s nothing.” Just when I think I finally succeeded by transforming, by keeping my men, the universe refuses to give me a clean break. Not only am I still immune to the zombies, which makes me worry that me I’m still sick, but my wolf refuses to kneel.

“Talk to me,” he persists, his eyes narrowing. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

His question wrenches me from my thoughts, and I blink at Dušan. There’s a silence between us, and I don’t know why I struggle to tell him about this. Or why it scares me to reveal the truth with the others too.

“We can help,” he suggests, his concern swimming behind his eyes.

“I-I d-don’t think I’m fully healed,” I admit, my voice low. It’s only when I see the reaction flaring over his face that I realize why I kept from talking to my men about this. His lips tighten and the color in his face drops a few shades. Fear darkens his gaze. That terror right there is like a knife in my gut, twisting and twisting.

“Because you’re still immune to the undead? We’re going to fix this, Meira, as soon as we deal with Mad. I promise.”

“No, it’s not just that.” My arms shake by my side. I lick my lips and let the words roll free. “I can’t control my wolf. When I change, she tries to take over, every single time. All she wants is to attack and hunt.”

He takes my hands into his. “Oh, Meira, that’s normal. The first time I shifted, my wolf took over and ate all the neighbor’s chickens.”

“And what about your next change and the one after?”

“It gets easier once you assert your dominance. You don’t need to worry about this.”

“No.” I push his hands away. “You don’t get it. It’s not getting easier. Each time I’ve shifted, my wolf is stronger. It takes everything to fight her back.”

I hug my middle and glance over to the undead, who haven’t moved, just watching. I doubt they really understand what’s going on. They resemble something robotic needing activation.

Dušan reaches over and takes my arm, holding me firmly. His finger brushes the inside of my arm, the touch coaxing a calmness racing up my arm. “Have you allowed your wolf to be in control at least once during your transformations?”

“Of course not. Are you crazy? If I do that, what if I never gain command over it again?”

“You will,” he says sternly.

“You don’t know that. Something is wrong with me and the normal wolf rules don’t apply here, Dušan. You’re not listening to me. What if when I let her have free rein, she becomes the monster you feared would tear out of me all along? What if I’m then forever lost while she goes on a rampage and kills everyone? What if she comes for you?” I’m shaking my head, my chin quivering