in just above a whisper. “I could hear her, so I should be able to see her, too, right? Sometimes when I’d see my shadow, I was afraid she might break away and run in the opposite direction.” I smile at my younger self, but I still understand that fear. “And then when I got older,” I continue, “I never thought of her as a ghost or a spirit in limbo or anything like that. She’s always seemed more like an extension of me.” I take a breath and face him. “But maybe I’m an extension of her.”
Ty sends me an uneasy glance. “Quit torturing yourself, okay?”
I want to stop, but I can’t. I wish he’d pull over and wrap his arms around me and make this all go away. But that’s not possible. “What if after we find Jake and learn the truth, Iris doesn’t need to stay here anymore?” I say, asking him what I can’t bring myself to ask her.
Ty blinks at me. “I don’t understand what you’re so afraid of.”
“What if that’s what’s kept her here all along? Her need to see Jake one last time, and her need to remember the truth, so I could know it and protect myself.”
“You think after she does those things she’ll disappear and you won’t sense her again?”
I press my lips together and look away. “Maybe she’ll think I don’t need her anymore.”
“That’s not going to happen. Everything’s going to be okay.” Ty’s voice is warm and caring, but less than convincing.
“How do you know?” I ask.
“I just do.”
Suddenly, I think of Kyle and shame slams into me. “God, Ty, I’m sorry,” I say, facing him. “Here I am worrying about losing Iris when your brother—”
“No, it’s fine. I’m okay. But are you sure you’re ready to meet Jake? If you can’t handle it, I’ll call him and tell him it’s off for now. We can talk this out first, just you and me, then see him tomorrow. Or we can go straight to Baltimore and forget all of it.”
I draw a deep breath. Either I want the truth or I don’t. It takes only seconds to decide. “Keep going,” I say.
20
The sun is pushing up from the earth like a bloodred bulb when Ty shakes me awake. My head is resting against the door, and the chest strap on the seat belt rubs against my cheek.
Yawning, I sit up. “You want me to drive for a while?”
“No, we’re here.”
“In Oklahoma City?”
“Yeah.”
I look outside. The traffic is almost bumper to bumper, and industrial-type businesses line both sides of the interstate highway. I’ve never seen so many eighteen-wheelers in one place.
“You’re getting a call,” says Ty, pointing to my quietly buzzing phone on the console.
I pick up without looking at the display.
“Hi, Lily. I’m pulling into Oklahoma City,” Jake says. “I broke a few speed limits and made good time.”
“We’re here, too,” I tell him.
“There’s a Denny’s ahead of me at exit eighty-five. Should I wait for you there?”
“Denny’s at exit eighty-five.” I glance at Ty, and he nods. “That’s fine.”
“I’ll go on in and get us a booth,” says Jake.
“How will I recognize you?”
“If you’re Iris’s sister, I’ll recognize you.”
His statement sends a shiver through me.
I tell Jake good-bye and end the call, so nervous I’m queasy. Without a word to Ty, I reach for my bag on the floor and dig through it until I find a brush. I pull the sun visor down and look at myself in the mirror, working the brush through the tangles in my hair.
Thank you. Iris’s whisper sweeps through me like a puff of warm wind.
My hand stills. We made this happen together, I tell her. I’m so happy you’re finally going to see Jake again and we’re going to get to the truth.
I wait for her to reassure me that I’ll be able to handle whatever it is. But there’s only a frail, soft hiss in my head—the constant white noise that’s Iris—tremulous now. Excited, but also fretful.
I break away from my reflection in the mirror, unable to meet my own terrified gaze as my fingers fumble to weave my hair into a braid. What will Jake think of me? Who will he see? What will he tell me?
“This is it,” Ty says quietly.
I look out at the road, see the exit, and beyond it, the Denny’s sign.
“It’ll be okay,” he says, noting my expression. “I’ll be with you every second.”
Only three cars are parked outside the restaurant. A dilapidated gray