Shades of Gray - Maya Banks Page 0,70
up in the middle of the night one night and thought, why not join the navy? I have no idea why I picked that branch. It was a total impulse decision and I went the next day to the recruiter so I couldn’t change my mind. Turned out to be the best decision I ever made. It’s made me who and what I am today. I was scared shitless going in, but once I got through boot camp everything just clicked into place.”
“So why’d you leave then?”
“Good question. Honestly I think it’s because I’d reached a goal and I kept thinking what next? I was a SEAL. I achieved something very few others do but I still felt restless. I heard about KGI through one of my buddies and it sounded right up my alley. I met with Sam and Garrett and then I resigned my commission. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“I bet you just had issues with authority and having such a rigid set of rules to live by,” she teased.
He smiled ruefully. “I admit, I like working for KGI and for Steele. I already told you I’m a gray-area guy. Not that there aren’t plenty of gray areas in the military, but KGI kind of makes their own rules. They choose their missions. When you belong to Uncle Sam, you do what you’re told whether you agree with it or not.”
She nodded her understanding.
“So what about you? You never mention family.”
She grimaced. “I grew up in a very religious environment.”
He reared back in mock surprise. “You? Religious? With that mouth? You must have been the bane of your mother’s existence.”
“Ha-ha. You’re so funny. I was a very sweet, nonviolent child, I’ll have you know.”
He had just taken a drink and he snorted and then choked as he tried to swallow it down without spewing.
“I bet you used to give the boys hell and I bet no one messed with you on the playground.”
She sighed. “I was painfully shy. I was different from the other kids. No television. Just books. I wore dresses until I was a teenager. Wearing jeans to school my junior year was my big act of rebellion.”
He looked at her in utter confusion. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “Yup. I had a charismatic upbringing. Very holy-roller type of environment. Never cut my hair. Didn’t wear pants. Very patriarchal church and home life.”
Cole shook his head. “You’ve blown my mind. How in the hell did you go from that to where you are now?”
“My uncle was a big hunter and he used to take me. He’d let me dress up in camo and I felt like such a badass. We’d spend time sighting in our rifles and I was a natural. He encouraged my marksmanship. My mom had a fit when she realized just how much time I was spending ‘playing with the devil’s instruments,’ as she put it.”
“Wow,” Cole said. “I’m at a loss for words. It boggles the mind. I wouldn’t have guessed your background in a million years.”
P.J. chuckled. “Yeah, most people wouldn’t.”
“So what happened? I mean, what did they think when you joined S.W.A.T., and do they know what you do for KGI?”
Her lips turned down, and for a moment she was silent as she relived the last time she’d seen her mother.
“We uh . . . don’t speak.”
Cole frowned. “Ever?”
“Not since I left high school. She washed her hands of me. Said I’d never amount to anything. I was too bent on a life of sin. My older brother was already a pastor of his own church, and I guess they thought I should be more like him. The way I figure it, they pray for the world, and I save it.”
“So you seriously don’t talk to them? It was over? Just like that?”
The incredulity in his voice bordered on condemnation and it rubbed her the wrong way.
“I couldn’t be who they wanted me to be,” she said quietly. “And they weren’t willing to accept anything else. It wasn’t my choice.”
Cole grimaced. “I’m sorry. I probably sound all judgy. It’s just that I’d give anything to have my parents back. I can’t imagine not speaking to them or seeing them.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m being too touchy. I guess they’re still a sore subject for me. I hadn’t realized how much of one.”
“What about your dad? I mean, all you’ve mentioned is your mother and how she felt.”
P.J. curled her lip in disgust. “For such a patriarchal system in the