Shades of Gray - Maya Banks Page 0,38
Hadn’t pressed her for information she was reluctant to give. Being a good guy and teammate didn’t mean shit now when they were so desperate for information.
“Look, I’ve pretty much seen it all. I’m sure you have too. It’s hard when it’s a teammate, but the fact is, she’s like a wounded animal and it’s likely she just wants to go off to heal on her own. You saw what Nathan was like when he got back from Afghanistan. You see how closed off Swanny is. Hell, we’ve all got our burdens to bear. We just do it differently. Maybe the best thing to do is just back off and give her some space. Let her deal with this in her own way.”
Cole knew Rio was giving good advice but it pissed him off all the same. He stared hard at the other man.
“Tell me something, Rio. If it was Grace, would you be so willing to back off and give her space and not worry over where she is, if she’s hurting or if she can make it on her own right now?”
Rio’s brows lifted, his eyes widening. “So it’s like that.”
Cole swore. “Yes. No. Hell if I know. Look I’m making a point here. If it were any of the other women. What if it was Shea? Or Rachel? Would you be saying to back off and leave them alone to sort it out themselves?”
Rio sighed. “No. I wouldn’t. But you have to remember, Cole. You can’t treat P.J. like just any other woman. She’s a warrior. A highly trained operative who goes into combat and deals with situations most other women don’t. She’s wired differently.”
Cole took a step closer until he and Rio were just inches apart.
“All that may be true, and I certainly don’t dispute it, but the fact of the matter is, she is still a woman and she was violated in the worst way a woman can be violated. And her team let her down. So you tell me. If she was on your team, would you be so willing to let her walk away and figure it all out on her own?”
Rio shook his head. “Hell, no. I wouldn’t let one of my men do it. I’m just trying to offer some perspective.”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t have any,” Cole said bluntly. “What I want is for her not to be alone to deal with this by herself. She has the team. And she has me. And she has no business being out of that hospital bed.”
Rio put his hand on Cole’s shoulder. “I get it, man. I understand when a mission becomes personal. I understand it all too well. My team will do whatever we can to help. We respect the hell out of P.J. She’s one of us. Will always be one of us. If you need us, just say the word.”
Some of the tension left Cole’s shoulders, and suddenly he was weary beyond belief.
“I appreciate it. I’m sorry that our fuckup meant you had to be away from Grace and Elizabeth.”
“You didn’t fuck up,” Rio said quietly. “Shit happens. There was nothing you could have done. And Grace and Elizabeth are fine. They’re with Shea and the other women enjoying a visit. I don’t let them out of the jungle often.”
Cole grinned crookedly. “No, you don’t. That’s for sure.”
“Keep me posted, okay?” Rio said as Cole turned to walk back into the war room. “I like P.J. a lot and this whole thing pisses me off. I want that bastard as much as you do.”
Cole stared straight into Rio’s eyes. “I doubt that.”
CHAPTER 16
P.J. parked outside Steele’s home, cut the ignition and then gripped the steering wheel with both hands. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but it was necessary.
She glanced at the huge duffel bag sitting in the passenger seat of the rental. Everything that belonged to KGI.
Getting out, she walked around to the other side to open the door. Bracing herself, she picked up the heavy bag and hoisted it over her shoulder.
Grimacing as her still-healing incisions protested, she started for the door only to see Steele standing in the doorway watching her progress.
His silence unnerved her, but only because she was nervous and she hated what she was about to say.
“Where the hell have you been?”
She blinked and drew up short on the top step. He looked angry when Steele usually looked unflappable. His