Series Starter Firsts in Series Collection - Kaylee Ryan Page 0,60

not been the hardest in history to keep focused. Now that it’s just me, I can let my mind replay it all, in slow motion. Every touch, every word, every breath between us. I think about what Dawn said, and he doesn’t seem like a man in mourning. But then what does that say about him? Ridge is a good guy, and that seems out of character for him. Dawn’s words filter through my mind. You don’t know the full story. But I want to. I want to know what happened, know how he’s handling all of this. I want to be there for him for reasons both selfish and unselfish. I’m such a hypocrite. I want to be someone he can lean on because he needs it. I also want to be that person just to be next to him.

Ping. I jump from the couch and run to get my phone from the kitchen, all the while praying it’s him.

Ridge: How was your day?

I’m sure my smile is blinding, just from a simple text message.

Me: Uneventful.

Work was smooth today. Thank goodness. We had a full schedule, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Me: Yours?

Ridge: Great, actually.

Me: Good deal.

Lame, I know. What else do I say? ‘Tell me, I want to hear about every second’?

Ridge: It is. Want to hear about it?

Do I? Hell yes, I do. I type a response but wait to send it, slowly counting to sixty first. I don’t want to sound desperate—when, in reality, that’s exactly what I am. Desperate for any little piece of interaction with this man.

Me: Yes.

I clutch my phone in my hands, waiting for his next message. Time seems to creep as I wait, staring at the screen. When it rings, I jump and my phone goes flying. When I finally have it back in my hands, I see the screen.

‘Ridge calling.’

Chapter 23

I wait forever for her reply and when it finally comes, I smile. Three little letters—Yes. Knox is asleep in my arms; he’s got a full belly and couldn’t resist the pull. I know I should put him down, he’s going to want to be held all the time—at least that’s what Mom tells me—but he’s peaceful, and to be honest, I just like to snuggle the little guy. It’s a shock to me, but he’s mine, a part of me. That makes a difference.

I’ve been using text-to-speech; it’s much faster than texting with one hand. Just as I’m about to reply, I decide that I need to hear her voice. I bring up her name and hit send. It rings more times than I would like, and just as I’m about to hang up and text her to ask why she won’t talk to me, she answers.

“Hello,” her soft voice comes over the line.

I close my eyes and let the sound fill me, relaxing into the couch. “Hey,” I reply just as softly.

Knox is sleeping. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

“So, tell me about your day,” she says, keeping her voice soft.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Mmmhmm.”

“It was pretty great,” I tell her. “You see, this girl, she’s kind of barreled into my life, and I got to see her today—twice, in fact.”

“I see,” she replies. Something in her voice tells me that she doesn’t realize it’s her.

Could she be jealous? “Yep, she’s gorgeous and sweet as hell,” I say, hoping she gets the hint.

“That’s nice.”

“I almost kissed her. I had my hands on her, and I almost kissed her.”

She’s quiet.

“I think I scared her though, because she backed away.”

“You wanted to kiss her?” she asks.

Finally, she gets it. “More than anything.”

She’s quiet, but I can hear her breathing softly. “I don’t want to be your rebound, Ridge.”

Just like that, she’s stopped this game we’re playing and brought us both back to reality.

“I know you’re hurting and lonely, but I can’t be that person for you. I don’t have it in me. I’ve spent too much time in my life being with men who just want me around when it’s convenient for them. I can’t do that anymore. I won’t.”

“Kendall, you are not a rebound,” I say emphatically.

“You’ve been through so much. You may not think so now, but that’s what this would be and I want it. I want to kiss you. I wanted to, I mean.”

Fuck me! “What do I need to do? How can I prove to you that this isn’t what you’ve made up in that beautiful head of yours?”

“I don’t know.”

Knox stirs in my arms