Series Starter Firsts in Series Collection - Kaylee Ryan Page 0,209

mine, Evan,” she laughs.

“Hell with that. I wouldn’t even begin to know how to use that thing. Besides, I like this. My wife bought it for me.” I grin. That’s something else I never get tired of hearing, her being called my wife.

“What do you think, Lex? You think we should let Daddy take our picture?”

“Da da da da,” Lexi rambles on. Kinley tickles her belly and they both have their heads back laughing, wild flowers in hand. I snap a picture or twenty. Capturing memories just like she said I would.

Kinley ends up setting her camera on the tripod and using the remote control to take some portraits of us all. This wasn’t her plan, but I insisted. I can’t wait to see how they turned out.

“I think our girl is about done,” I tell McKinley as she packs up her gear. Lexi is rubbing her eyes with her head resting on my shoulder.

After throwing her gear in the back of the Mule, she walks over to us. “You were such a good girl today, Lex.” She reaches out, brushes her cheek. That’s when it happens.

“Momma,” falls from my baby girls tired lips.

McKinley gasps, throwing her hands over her mouth. Her eyes instantly welling with tears.

I don’t hesitate with my response. I reach out to McKinley and pull her close. “That’s right, baby. That’s Momma,” I tell her. It might be wrong of me to do that without discussing it with Kinley first, but damn it, I want her to be her momma. I want to live each day for the rest of our lives just like we have the last two months. I don’t want to let her go.

McKinley pulls away, wiping at her tears. “You can’t do that,” she tells me. “You can’t tell this precious little girl I’m her momma. You can’t tell my heart I’m her momma. This is temporary, Evan. You can’t do that to her, to me,” she cries.

“What if it’s not? What if this is permanent?”

“Oh, Evan, we both know that’s not what this is.”

“Bullshit.”

“Watch your language around her,” she fires back.

Lexi starts to cry and McKinley reaches for her. “Aunt Kinley’s here, baby. Let’s get you home.” She takes her and straps her in the seat. Instead of sitting up front with me like she did on the way here, she climbs in the back to sit with Lex. I don’t regret what I said, but it’s apparent she still doesn’t feel the way I do. My chest feels like a knife has been twisted through it, but I don’t let it show. Instead, I drive my girls back to the house and unload McKinley’s equipment while she takes Lexi in and makes her a bottle.

I kick the Mule’s tire once they are inside, swallowing the scream that wants to tear from my throat. The woman I love, my wife, doesn’t love me back. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

Chapter 51

McKinley

As soon as Lexi is finished with her bottle, she’s sound asleep. I lay her in her crib and walk across the hall to our room. My heart is breaking. Little tiny shards of it fall away each day closer to the trial. When she called me momma…devastating. I want that so much.

I curl into a ball on the bed and let the tears fall. I hear Evan downstairs. He agreed with her, but he’s caught up in this, in us being real while there is still a threat of Misty’s parents. I can’t let myself be mom and have it taken away. I just…can’t. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

When I wake a little while later, I feel warm lips press against my neck. “I don’t want to fight with you, McKinley,” Evan says softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t correct her. I will in the future. I just…I don’t want to fight with you, baby.” He sounds broken. “I don’t like finding you in our bed with your cheeks wet from tears. It breaks my fucking heart. I just want you happy. Today was amazing and I want that back,” he says.

I roll over to face him. “Today was amazing,” I confess. His thumb traces my lips. “I love her, Evan. I love her so much, and I just…don’t want to confuse things---confuse her. I know she’s just a baby and she won’t remember today, but can we…”

“I’m sorry,” he says, pulling me tighter against his chest. “Let’s go back. If she does it again, we’ll just