“I know that,” he said, tone and expression softening. “Christ, I know that. But I was this parasite, leeching color and happiness, leaving trails of empty promises and broken pieces everywhere I went.” His voice cracked. “I knew it had to stop. I knew when I moved here, and I was honestly trying. But the night you could’ve lost our baby, because of me and my reckless decisions, I knew I wasn’t trying hard enough.” He straightened. “I had two choices, Stevie.”
“And what were they? Leave me or leave me?” I desperately wanted to haul those words back, but I couldn’t, so they sat there, simmering in the air between us.
He didn’t balk. “Walk away from those I continued to hurt for good, or find a way to stop hurting them.”
I shook my head, the light smattering of rain melding with the tears falling down my cheeks.
“You’re allowed to get mad. You’re allowed to fucking hate me for all I’ve done to you, but what you’re not allowed to do is stop loving me.”
“Enough. I need to go,” I said, finally realizing we weren’t alone. Some passersby had stopped or were gawking over their shoulders at us.
“Wait,” he said, rounding the car when I climbed inside.
I groaned as he held the door open, leaning in. “Please, Everett. Just let me go.”
“Never.” He grabbed my face, pulling it to his lips. The smooth warmth of them meeting my forehead sent shivers biting. “Never. It’s you and me, and I love you.”
He swiped his hand over my stomach before backing out and closing the door.
The weeks dwindled by, and on the days I was working, Everett dropped off lunch or dinner, causing Gloria’s and Sabrina’s brows to rise as he swaggered out the door without saying a word.
“Strange man,” Sabrina murmured.
“But sweet,” Gloria added.
A week before Thanksgiving, I came home to find Adela wearing a shit-eating grin on her face.
I wasn’t driving home for Thanksgiving. Too pregnant and with too much to do, I’d asked Mom and Dad to come to me instead. Hendrix and the band were busy wrapping the album in the studio anyway, so Mom took the opportunity to not wash dishes pretty well.
“Where did that come from?” I glared at the stained crib sitting against the wall in the center of the room, a mattress tucked inside.
“Everett.”
I almost tripped over the alligator rug, and Adela snorted, grabbing my arm. “No face planting while preggers.”
“Noted.” Inching closer, I skimmed my fingers across the shined edge of the dark wood. “Wow.”
“Yep. And before you get mad, I told him no, but he said he’d assemble it out on the street for all he cared.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. “Asshole,” I mumbled.
“Extreme asshole.” Adela laughed.
I tried to picture it, our baby asleep inside the crib his dad had built for him. It nearly brought me to my knees, so I stepped back, taking a seat in the rocking chair I’d found at the thrift store.
“You don’t look happy.”
“I’m not unhappy,” I defended, drawing the words out.
Adela picked up the snow globe on the dresser, shaking it until the confetti-like pieces rained mists of white glitter over the little village inside.
I’d lost count of how many times I’d sat in this room late at night, doing the same thing with the globe, exactly where I was sitting.
“A state of in between, then.” Her pouty lips tilted. “Better than sad. Where’s Aiden?”
He hadn’t been around for weeks, but that was probably my fault.
“He’s gone home for the holidays. He said he’d try to catch up with me in the new year.”
Adela said nothing to that, and I studied her pinched expression. “He’s blowing me off, isn’t he?” I’d feared that was the case, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. The thought of not having him in my life was unfathomable, though it wasn’t as if I’d asked him to hang around. “I’m pregnant, Del. What am I supposed to do? Ask him to be with me while I have this baby?”
“I’m sure he would say yes if you did.”
I knew that, and that was what had stopped me. It wasn’t fair, not for him, not for Everett. Not for anyone. “I’m having this kid, getting my flower farm, and raising him with the help of a hundred goats.”
She laughed, then sobered. “So Everett seems really good. His face as he looked at all this stuff…” she trailed off, and I wished I