feelings, and conceptions I form about everything, something general is lacking that would unite it all into a single whole. Each feeling and thought lives separately in me, and in all my opinions about science, the theater, literature, students, and in all the pictures drawn by my imagination, even the most skillful analyst would be unable to find what is known as a general idea or the god of the living man.
And if there isn’t that, there’s nothing.
Given such poverty, a serious illness, the fear of death, the influence of circumstances or of people, would be enough to overturn and smash to pieces all that I used to consider my worldview, and in which I saw the meaning and joy of my life. And therefore it’s not at all surprising that I should darken the last months of my life with thoughts and feelings worthy of a slave and a barbarian, and that I’m now indifferent and do not notice the dawn. When a man lacks that which is higher and stronger than any external influence, a good cold really is enough to make him lose his balance and begin to see an owl in every bird and hear a dog’s howl in every sound. And at that moment all his pessimism or optimism, together with his thoughts great and small, have the significance of mere symptoms and nothing more.
I am defeated. If so, there’s no point in continuing to think, no point in talking. I’ll sit and silently wait for what comes.
In the morning the servant brings me tea and a copy of the local newspaper. I mechanically read through the announcements on the first page, the editorial, the excerpts from other newspapers and magazines, the news reports … In the news I find, among other things, the following item: “Yesterday our famous scientist, the acclaimed professor Nikolai Stepanovich So-and-so, arrived in Kharkov on the express train and is staying at such-and-such hotel.”
Evidently, great names are created so as to live by themselves, apart from their bearers. Now my name is peacefully going about Kharkov; in some three months, inscribed in gold letters on a tombstone, it will shine like the sun itself—while I’m already covered with moss …
A light tap at the door. Someone wants me.
“Who’s there? Come in!”
The door opens and I step back in surprise, hastily closing the skirts of my dressing gown. Katya stands before me.
“Good morning,” she says, breathing heavily after climbing the stairs. “You didn’t expect me? I … I’ve come here, too.”
She sits down and continues, stammering and not looking at me.
“Why don’t you wish me good morning? I’ve come, too … today … I found out you were in this hotel and looked you up.”
“I’m very glad to see you,” I say, shrugging my shoulders, “but I’m surprised … It’s as if you dropped from the sky. Why are you here?”
“Me? I … simply up and came.”
Silence. Suddenly she gets up impetuously and steps towards me.
“Nikolai Stepanych!” she says, turning pale and clasping her hands to her breast. “Nikolai Stepanych! I can’t live like this any longer! I can’t! For the love of God, tell me quickly, this very moment: what am I to do? Tell me, what am I to do?”
“But what can I say?” I’m perplexed. “There’s nothing.”
“Tell me, I implore you!” she goes on, choking and trembling all over. “I swear to you, I can’t live like this any longer! It’s beyond my strength!”
She drops into a chair and begins to sob. She throws her head back, wrings her hands, stamps her feet; her hat has fallen off her head and dangles from an elastic, her hair is disheveled.
“Help me! Help me!” she implores. “I can’t go on!”
She takes a handkerchief from her traveling bag, and along with it pulls out several letters that fall from her knees onto the floor. I pick them up from the floor and on one of them recognize Mikhail Fyodorovich’s handwriting, and unintentionally read a bit of one word—“passionat …”
“There’s nothing I can tell you, Katya,” I say.
“Help me!” she sobs, seizing my hand and kissing it. “You’re my father, my only friend! You’re intelligent, educated, you’ve lived a long time! You’ve been a teacher! Tell me: what am I to do?”
“In all conscience, Katya, I don’t know …”
I’m at a loss, embarrassed, touched by her sobbing, and barely able to keep my feet.
“Let’s have breakfast, Katya,” I say with a forced smile. “Enough crying!”
And I add at once in a sinking
<<Previous page Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 1 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 2 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 3 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 4 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 5 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 6 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 7 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 8 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 9 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 10 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 11 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 12 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 13 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 14 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 15 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 16 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 17 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 18 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 19 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 20 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 21 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 22 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 23 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 24 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 25 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 26 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 27 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 28 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 29 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 30 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 31 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 32 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 33 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 34 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 35 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 36 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 37 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 38 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 39 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 40 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 41 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 42 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 43 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 44 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 45 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 46 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 47 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 48 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 49 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 50 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 51 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 52 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 53 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 54 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 55 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 56 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 57 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 58 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 59 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 60 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 61 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 62 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 63 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 64 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 65 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 66 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 67 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 68 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 69 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 70 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 71 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 72 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 73 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 74 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 75 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 76 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 77 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 78 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 79 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 80 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 81 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 82 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 83 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 84 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 85 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 86 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 87 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 88 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 89 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 90 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 91 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 92 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 93 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 94 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 95 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 96 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 97 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 98 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 99 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 100 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 101 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 102 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 103 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 104 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 105 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 106 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 107 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 108 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 109 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 110 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 111 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 112 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 113 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 114 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 115 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 116 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 117 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 118 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 119 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 120 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 121 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 122 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 123 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 124 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 125 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 126 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 127 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 128 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 129 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 130 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 131 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 132 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 133 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 134 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 135 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 136 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 137 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 138 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 139 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 140 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 141 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 142 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 143 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 144 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 145 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 146 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 147 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 148 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 149 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 150 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 151 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 152 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 153 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 154 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 155 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 156 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 157 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 158 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 159 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 160 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 161 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 162 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 163 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 164 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 165 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 166 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 167 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 168 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 169 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 170 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 171 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 172 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 173 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 174 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 175 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 176 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 177 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 178 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 179 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 180 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 181 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 182 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 183 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 184 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 185 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 186 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 187 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 188 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 189 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 190 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 191 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 192 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 193 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 194 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 195 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 196 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 197 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 198 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 199 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 200 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 201 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 202 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 203 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 204 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 205 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 206 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 207 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 208 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 209 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 210 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 211 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 212 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 213 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 214 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 215 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 216 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 217 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 218 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 219 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 220 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 221 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 222 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 223 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 224 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 225 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 226 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 227 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 228 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 229 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 230 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 231 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 232 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 233 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 234 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 235 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 236 Selected Stories of Anton Chekov - By Anton Chekhov - Page 237
Next page>>