“I… umm… I’m a little tired now. You mind taking me back to the dorm?” she asks, once her dress is fully back on her body.
“Sure.” I try to smile, but I’m not fooling anyone.
I opened up, and she slammed the door in my face. But I guess I really should be used to it; expect it even. Stone is just like her namesake—hard and impenetrable. She’s not going to give in to me so easily. I’ve probably gotten closer than most, so I should take that as a victory, right? Then why do I feel so raw? Why does this feel like I’m fucked beyond measure? Like I’m losing her? And how can you even lose something that was never yours, to begin with?
All these miserable thoughts plague me on the silent ride over to her dorm. Upon parking the car, Stone places a chaste kiss on my cheek, giving me all the confirmation I needed—it was too much, too soon for her.
Fuck!
I wish I knew how to do this shit. I wish I had some sort of clue to guide me on the best way to reach her. But I don’t. Stone is the first girl to make me feel this way, whatever this is. And I’m not sure she feels the same. Actually, I’m not sure she’s even capable of it.
I walk her to her door as I still want to be near her in spite of the clear rejection. But maybe I shouldn’t. She’s protecting her heart while I’m throwing mine on the ground, allowing her to trample on it with her skulled boots. Maybe I’m the sucker who should know when to cut his losses and bail.
“Are you coming over to Big Jim’s tomorrow, or do you have some big game to train for?” she asks, sounding indifferent, but the distraught look in her stunning green eyes tells me otherwise.
“I have some assignments to hand in this week. I should probably focus on those. But I’ll call you,” I tell her, her face not giving me anything to work with.
“Okay, so I guess I’ll see you around, quarterback,” she responds nonchalantly, throwing me a meek smile, before heading into her dorm without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
“I don’t know if you will, Stone,” I mumble to myself, kicking the air at my feet, feeling like shit as I walk back to my car.
I feel like a total asshole driving home, too.
Maybe this is for the best. Some space will give me some perspective. It will give me time to simmer down these unknown feelings until I understand them. Until I’m able to curb them into something similar to what Stone is feeling. Perhaps we are just about sex. And what’s wrong with that? I mean, she’s leaving at the end of the year anyway, so a no-strings-attached fuckbuddy scenario is the way to go. Most assholes would sell their own grandmother to be in my shoes.
I guess I should be happy, right?
But I’m not. I’m fucking miserable.
And because life just loves to fuck with me, the minute I get home, I’m confronted with yet another clusterfuck of immense proportions. Sitting pretty in my foyer, just waiting to shove the branding iron up my ass—sans lube, I might add—is another mandate from The Society, reminding me exactly who the fuck is calling the shots.
Fuck this night!
I’m so fucking over it already.
Chapter 19
Finn
After last night’s events, I twist and turn in my bed, trying to think of a way to get out of the mess I’m in. As hard as I try, nothing comes to me. All I end up doing is staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, reliving that one night from last May, which turned out to be a catalyst for my current state of affairs.
Because of that one moment—that one fatal mistake—my life is in shambles.
Not only am I being blackmailed by the boogeyman, but because of them, I met the only girl on God’s green earth that has ever meant something to me. No matter what anyone says, ignorance is bliss. If the foul-mouthed Southie never landed in my crosshairs, if she didn’t piss off The Society somehow, then I wouldn’t be feeling like I’m being backed into a corner, ordered to choose between her life and mine.
When dawn arrives, laying the sun’s early beams on my face, I instantly curse out at it. I hate the fact we’re going to have yet