be in a better position to help my momma in the future. You understand that, don’t you?”
Her eyes search mine, and I try my best to hide how her good news has just shattered me—utterly and completely.
“Of course, I understand. I only wish I could be there when you make New York City your bitch,” I joke half-heartedly, gaining a shy smile out of her.
“You want to tell me another secret?” she asks inquisitively, completely oblivious of my inner turmoil.
“I sometimes wish I could just disappear,” I tell her, the honesty spilling from my lips without hesitation.
“Why do you feel like that?” She furrows her brows in concern.
“Because if I could, then maybe I could finally be happy,” I confess.
“And you’re not now?”
“No.”
“Why not?” she asks, her lips thinning into a frown.
“Everyone expects me to be something I’m not.”
“And what’s that?” she whispers in my ear, bringing me closer to her, wrapping her arms around me as my eardrum pulses with her beating heart.
“The obedient son. The loyal friend. The all-star football player.”
“And you don’t want to be those things?”
“I just want to be me,” I hush out, my body beginning to tremble in her arms.
“And who are you, Finn?” she continues to coax.
I lean back, grabbing her chin with my hands and telling her the one secret that is as true as the day is long.
“A guy who likes losing himself watching the stars above him, nearly as much as he likes getting lost just looking into your eyes.”
“So, I’m not one of the people you want to escape from?”
“No, Stone. You’re not. Does that scare you?” I ask cautiously, but thankfully my fears are assuaged when she shakes her head, tenderly moving her nose left to right on mine. “Do you ever want to start over?” I ask her, diving deep into this vulnerable moment we’re sharing.
“Honestly? No. I know my life isn’t all flowers and rainbows, but it got me this far. Maybe if I were someone else, I’d forget that.”
“And you don’t want to forget? Not like I do?”
“No, I don’t,” she replies saddened for me.
“I envy you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You know exactly who you want to be, and you’re willing to fight to be that person.”
“I think you know exactly who you are too, Finn. You just have to find the courage to be who you want, rather than being someone who everyone expects you to be.”
“It’s not that simple,” I lament.
“It is, Finn, if you want it bad enough. Don’t let others dictate your life for you. You are the master of your own destiny.”
“I don’t feel that way. I feel like everyone is always pulling on my strings, making me dance to their tune.”
“Then change the station,” she lightly jokes, kissing the tip of my nose.
“Ah, Stone, you make it sound so easy.”
“Life is never easy, Finn. But you shouldn’t let others complicate it for you, either.”
“Hmm.”
“Do I complicate your life?” she asks meekly after a long pause.
“Yes.”
My life might have been chaotic before Stone was forced into it, but now that I know she’s going to vanish from it completely, I feel more lost than I ever did.
“Do you want to disappear because of me?”
“No. You’re the only thing that I want to hold onto,” I answer her sincerely, her face scrunching. “Does that scare you?”
“Yes.”
“Me too.”
She leans in and presses a light kiss on my lips, and just as I succumb to her emerald gaze, I get lost in her tender kiss, too. When she breaks away—far too soon for my liking—I hold her face in my palms.
“If I could disappear, I’d take you with me,” I utter with conviction.
“But I’m not going anywhere yet, Finn.”
“Then, I won’t either.”
“Even though you want to?”
“Even though I want to,” I admit.
She kisses me again, and this time she deepens it. I let the kiss consume me as it always does. The little sighs she makes begin to boil my blood, and the need to have her becomes the only thing I can focus on.
“Stone,” I mumble between erratic kisses.
“Yes?”
“I need you,” I beg.
She doesn’t say a word and begins to grind over my stiff cock, knowing exactly how big my need for her truly is. Her tongue plays with mine, my hands gripping on her exposed thighs, pushing her dress up until I feel her bare waist in my hands.
“What do you want, Finn?” she asks as she straddles me, rocking on my lap, dry humping me into a frenzy.