“It kind of looks the same from where I’m sitting.”
He lets out another scoff, and my chest begins to feel heavy with his reaction to my unwillingness to go to a stupid party.
“Where are you going? It’s not even daylight yet.”
“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to be caught with a boy in your room? Now is the perfect time for me to leave. Besides, I can’t be here right now.”
“You mean you can’t be here with me,” I quip back, getting pissed at his little tantrum.
He throws his hands in the air and looks over at me, his soft, blue eyes now holding a harsher shade.
“You’re right, I can’t. Because if I stay in this room, I’ll just end up making love to you again. And honestly, I want more from you, Stone. I want to feel like I’m not just another notch on your bedpost, and that you actually give a shit about me.”
“You’re being ridiculous and a bit of a drama queen. You know you mean more to me than just a quick fuck, Finn.”
“Oh, do I? Tell me, how am I supposed to know that? Tell me, how I’m supposed to believe you care for me at all? It’s like I push us to take one step forward in our relationship, only for you to pull us two steps back. And maybe that’s exactly how you want it,” he croaks, looking lost and confused, making my own eyes begin to burn, witnessing how he’s hurting.
“Finn,” I choke out, my heart not able to keep up with all these new feelings bombarding me so mercilessly.
I watch him shake his head, finally locating his Jordans, so he puts them on. Completely dressed now, Finn picks up his book bag and walks toward the door, stopping in front of it, but never once turning back to look at me.
“Figure out what you want, Stone. When you do, come and find me,” he utters. But before he has time to leave me to my sorrow, I jump out of bed and latch onto his back, holding him as if my life depended on it.
“Don’t go,” I rasp in panic. “Just don’t.”
He bows his head, and I feel his body trembling as hard as my own.
“I don’t know how to do this, Stone.”
“I don’t either,” I admit.
He turns around in my arms, holding my naked body tightly with his clothed one, his face lost inside the crook of my neck.
“Why does this have to be so hard?”
“I don’t know,” I hush, holding onto his rigid frame, praying I can say something, anything, to make him stay.
I wasn’t lying yesterday when I told Finn how much I missed him this past week. Somehow, without my consent or approval, he weaved his way into my heart and just won’t let go. Like the North Carolina sun on my face, I’ve come to be dependent on his presence. Crave it even.
The mere idea of him leaving while hurting is excruciating to me, only proving his theory right—we are both well past playing games, but somehow stumbled into the biggest one there is. We’ve fallen for each other, and I’m not sure either of us is equipped to deal with the rules that love has set out for us.
“Finn,” I stutter, the words burning inside my throat, demanding to see the light of day.
“Yeah?” he asks, breathing me in.
“Are we in love?”
He lets out another deep exhale and pulls his head back, allowing me to get lost in his sky blue eyes once again.
“I know I am. I’m just not sure you are, Stone. And it’s fucking killing me,” he confesses, his eyes crinkling at the sides so that I don’t see them start to water.
I take his head into my open palms, softly cradling his cheeks.
“I’ve never been in love.”
“I know,” he replies, his eyes dropping to the floor in disappointment.
“I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it, either.”
He lets out another long exhale, his eyes still not able to look directly at mine.
“I’ll go to the party, Finn. If it’s that important to you, I’ll go.”
“No, it’s okay. If you’re not ready for it, then I just have to give you time,” he replies in defeat.
“I want to go. I want to meet your family and your friends,” I state assertively, tightening my grip on his face.
“Why?”
“Because they’re important to you, and you are important to me,” I admit with such certainty that his somber features begin