Seducing The Boss (Pulse #2) - Mari Carr Page 0,54
going to pursue her.”
Mom frowned, confused by his response. “That makes no sense.”
Kellan sighed and decided to hell with it. He wasn’t making any progress in sorting out his thoughts on his own. Maybe it would help to talk to his mom. “I’m not a good bet. I’d only wind up hurting her in the end.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’ve never done a long-term serious relationship.”
“You dated Jenna Lennon in college for nearly an entire year.”
He shrugged. “You’re right. I did. And we broke up when she caught me making out with one of her sorority sisters at their end-of-year formal. Guess I really am like Dad.”
His mother winced slightly, but she didn’t address his comparison. “Then you weren’t in love with her.”
He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. “That’s just it. I think I was in love with Jenna.”
Mom shook her head. “No. You weren’t. Dig deep, Kellan. Have you ever looked at a woman and felt your breath catch in your chest? Ever spent an entire afternoon daydreaming about her? Ever felt the uncontrollable urge to smile nonstop just because she was with you and it felt so good?”
Sara.
Every single one of those descriptions matched his feelings for Sara.
“I don’t know if I can give her what she needs.” He didn’t bother saying Sara’s name again. His mother knew exactly how he felt about her. He’d obviously given himself away at the Social Club.
“What does she want?”
“Marriage, kids, forever.”
Mom smiled and reached across the table, taking one of his hands in hers. “You can do all of that. Actually, I’m sure you’d be pretty fantastic at the whole husband-slash-dad gig.”
He wanted to believe that, but old habits were hard to break. Mom must have recognized the doubt in his face.
“Because you’re exactly like your dad, Kellan.”
Now it was his turn to wince, until she squeezed his hand tightly and continued. “In all the ways that matter. You’re intelligent, charming, and very handsome. Women will always be drawn to you. You’re also loyal, protective, and stubborn as a bull. You won’t let go of anything that’s yours without a fight.”
“It would kill me if I…” Kellan couldn’t find the words. He’d seen his mother’s stricken expression the afternoon they’d found that other woman with his dad. He never wanted to see that look on Sara’s face. It would eviscerate him.
“You also have the opportunity to learn from your father’s mistakes. The fact that you’re so terrified of repeating them proves to me that you won’t. You’ve witnessed the price of that betrayal. If you truly love Sara, you won’t let her down like that.”
“Why did you forgive him so easily?” He’d always wondered, always wanted to know why she didn’t make Dad pay for his infidelity more than she had.
She tilted her head, her eyes more serious than he’d ever seen them. “Do you view me as weak for that?”
“God, no.” He hesitated to add the truth, but now that they were laying the cards on the table, Kellan couldn’t stop himself. “Naive maybe. Too trusting.”
She considered his description. “Fair enough. And maybe I was both of those things. But I was also deeply, deeply in love with your father. He made a mistake, and I chose to forgive him for it. He promised me he would never cheat again, and he hasn’t.”
Kellan realized there was no way she could know that for sure, but then as he thought about it, he knew she was right. His dad hadn’t strayed again. Not once. He was as certain of that as the fact that Kellan had fallen head over heels in love with Sara.
And he’d let her go.
He had declared himself afraid of hurting her, but that was exactly what he’d done. He’d been an idiot.
“I let her go. Told her to date Gabriel.”
Mom grinned and rolled her eyes. “Sara is a lot like me, Kellan. Naive, trusting…and completely in love. She’ll forgive you. And you’ll take that second chance and make it right, make the life you both deserve.”
He didn’t respond. Wasn’t sure he could. So instead, they let the conversation end.
They ordered a couple of beers and a plate of wings and hung out. Josh showed up at some point and joined them. They laughed, watched the ball game on one of the bar TVs and suddenly the night didn’t seem so shitty.
When he crawled into bed later, he considered his next move. He couldn’t keep trudging through life like this. A month ago, he