pretty sure he could’ve worked something out and get that bitch out of your life for good.”
“Hey!” I held up a hand to stop him. “She’s still my wife. She’s also going to be the mother of my baby—even if she wished it wasn’t so. You won’t talk about her that way, okay?”
“I’m sorry, man. I just can’t figure out what the hell you’re smoking. You gave her a third of your shares in the company! Declan’s going to be furious.”
“She gets it only after I’m dead.”
“And that’s another thing.” His eyes widened, his face turning red. “What the fuck, man? You’ve just given that greedy bi—woman an excuse to off you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Even if I die, Declan will still control the shares she owns.”
“She doesn’t need to control them. She only needs the profits. People have killed for less than that.”
“Will you stop being so dramatic, Win?” I downed the glass of alcohol. “Poppy isn’t a killer. She’s just a terrible wife and will probably make a terrible mom as well.”
“I hope it’s worth it. The baby, I mean.”
“It is.”
I smiled, thinking about the last appointment we’d had at her obstetrician. We got to see the baby in 3D, and it was the most beautiful sight ever. I might’ve started this with wanting to make up for being a shitty father by giving it a second shot, but that picture made me confront why I was going through all this stress with Poppy.
I already loved that baby.
But Poppy still had four months to go, and a part of me was getting restless. I needed something. Parties. Women. Booze. Missed days at work. Taking the private jet to fuck off wherever I wanted.
All sounded like a good idea in theory, but I couldn’t. I had to be around for the baby.
Shit, what if I fucked up with this kid as well?
I’d already fucked up everything with August. I should never have slept with him. Satisfying my curiosity wasn’t worth this agony of thinking about him every damn minute. I’d decided it was a one-night thing, but it had turned into two nights. Now every time before I went to bed, the space next to me mocked me.
I was so obsessed with him I’d been researching his lifestyle. It all intrigued me. I did want to be his pet, call him Sir, and watch the pleasure that filled his eyes before he gave me what I wanted.
“Is it the gay thing that’s fucking with your head?”
I blinked up at Winston, confused about what he was talking about. “Will you make sense? What gay thing?”
“You being into men. Is that what this is about?”
“I’m not gay. I’m bi.”
“Does it matter?”
“Yeah, I’m still attracted to women.”
I’d just become even more aware of the same sex since my tryst with August.
“Oh, so just date women, then. Less hassle, right?”
“How do you get to forty-eight and still be so fucking clueless?” And my question wasn’t just for him, though, but myself as well.
I struggled to my feet and beckoned at Winston. “Come on, let’s go out.”
“Where?” He eyed me skeptically.
“A gay bar. I think I need to get laid.”
“Sorry, man, going once with you was enough. I got hit on the last time.”
I pointed at him. “That’s a compliment.”
Winston stood as well and checked his watch. “Why don’t you stay here and crash in the guest room for the night? It’s almost ten.”
“Sounds like party hour to me. If you’re not coming, I’ll call my driver.”
“Charles—”
I grabbed his shirt and hung on. “Come on, man. The boredom is killing me. I need this.”
“Jesus.” He pulled his shirt out of my hands and stepped back. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you these days.”
“I just told you. I need to get laid.”
“Then do it when you’re sober.” His face was creased with worry. His cheeks turned red. “Men will take advantage of you in the situation you’re in. Plus, what if someone recognizes you? You’re fucking Charles Moore, and this shit might be all over the place by tomorrow.”
And I didn’t give a damn. The familiar urge driving me to old habits reared its ugly head. If I didn’t do something now, it would only get worse.
I was pissed at Winston for backing out, but I’d never been afraid to go off on my own and chase happiness, even if it was for a fleeting moment. It usually was enough for a while before I got the urge again. This time, though,