The Secrets of Love Story Bridge - Phaedra Patrick Page 0,81

for that long. And I felt like I was falling from the top of a skyscraper.

“I can’t even remember leaving the hospital after that visit. I just kept on walking, unaware of where I was heading until I found myself standing on a bridge in the city. I looked over the railing and stared down at the water for ages. And I knew in those moments that I had to fight for my baby’s life. I’d do whatever it took for him to be okay, for me to be okay, because we had a chance.

“I stayed in bed until my next appointment. I couldn’t sleep from worrying about the baby. I became a real mess.

“The heart specialist was based in a different hospital a couple of hours away, and she was willing to keep an eye on me throughout my pregnancy. I thought it would help to move closer to her, and I was finally going to tell Mum, Liza and Naomi about my situation. But then Victor found out that I’d told on him. He showed up at my apartment one night. He was yelling and banging on the door, and I was so scared to see him, especially if he noticed if I was pregnant. I hid for ages until he’d gone and, in the middle of the night, I got into my car. I was shaking like a leaf, and I didn’t want to wake Naomi and the kids, or scare Mum, or disturb Liza. I just had to get away.

“I drove to the hospital where the specialist worked, the first place I thought of rather than the police, and I begged a nurse to help me. I just wanted to protect the baby.

“She helped check me into a hotel for the night. Her friend let out an apartment I could stay in, so I could be close to the hospital. I wrote to Liza, and to Jean, and Naomi, but I didn’t want them to know where I was, because I was paranoid Victor would find out.

“The next weeks went by in a daze. I had assessments and scans and I plunged into depression, the darkest place. The nurse, now a friend, brought baby clothes for me and food for my fridge. And I managed to get by.

“Then one morning, when I was almost eight months pregnant, this little one decided to come early. I gave birth to him alone in the hospital, and I called him Connor after my dad. As I lay there recovering from my labor, the specialist carried out the first operation on him, and I had no idea if it would work or not. I didn’t know if I’d have a baby to hold at the end of it.

“I sank even lower and was diagnosed with postnatal depression. I got it into my head it was truly best for Mum, Liza and Naomi that I wasn’t part of their lives any longer. I had some moments of lucidity and was able to write a few letters here and there. But all I wanted to do was keep me and Connor safe in a protective bubble. It was such a relief when I found out Victor had been sent to prison, out of the way.

“All the hospital visits and Connor’s operations meant that time evaporated. I got good support, took medication and the mist began to clear, but it took months before I could allow myself to believe things might turn out okay for us.”

“Is Connor okay now?”

Yvette gave the smallest nod. “He’ll need regular checkups and possibly more surgery in the future. We have to take each day as it comes.

“One day, I felt a bit stronger and was drawn back to the bridge. I wanted to take a first small step out of the gloom and hang a padlock for Connor. My friend, the nurse, got it engraved for me and was the only person I trusted to look after the baby. I used to sing Auntie Jean’s song to him when he was in my tummy, and the words felt perfect. ‘My heart is always yours.’”

“That was the day we saw each other on the bridge...” Mitchell said. “Before you fell?”

Yvette nodded. “I was deep in thought, looking at my padlock when I noticed you.”

“We shared a smile,” Mitchell reminded her.

“It’s all such a blur. After I hung the padlock, I felt my earring fall out. It bounced and then disappeared. Liza bought them for my birthday and I