The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,84
never get bored?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve missed that, and everything about you.”
“When did you become such a sweet talker?”
“I’m not,” she whispered. “I guess you bring out the sap in me.”
We took our time familiarizing ourselves again with the curves and planes we once knew so well. My hand stopped on Nora’s abdomen, and I broke our kiss. I traced the most prominent scar with my finger. “Tell me what happened.”
“Our convoy hit an IED.”
“And?”
Nora kissed me then whispered against my lips, “I survived. Let’s talk about it another time.”
It was tough to stay focused, but I somehow managed. “You used to tell me everything.”
With a small sigh, Nora pulled back and looked at me. “I’m out of practice. I don’t usually open up to lovers.”
I resisted the urge to mention Alima and pushed her out of my mind. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“When we were together, did you enjoy sex with Charlie, too?”
“Goodness, that’s a complicated question.”
“I just, um, assumed you hated it like I hated having sex with Joe. But, if you’re bisexual...”
“Being gay or straight or bi isn’t just about who you’re sexually attracted to. It’s as much about emotional connections, maybe more so. I had both with you. With Charlie—” she shrugged “—the emotional connection faded, so the sexual attraction faded, too. He noticed, and you know Charlie. He’s a fixer. The night before he left town, he pulled out all the stops. That was the only time that I felt guilty about sleeping with Charlie, because I knew my reaction to him was a betrayal of what we had.”
It’s amazing how a slight from years past can still pierce a person’s soul. I tried not to show my hurt, but of course Nora saw it. She pulled me down next to her. I laid my head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat while she finished.
“I went to Tech and honestly just assumed I would date guys, and I did. But, I lived in a dorm full of girls, beautiful girls, girls who reminded me of you. It was a very confusing time for me.
“There was a class, human sexuality, that was tough to get into. You had to be an upperclassman to have any chance. People took it for all kinds of reasons and there was a lot of elbowing and snickering when the professor talked about sex, and condoms, and orgasms. That ramped up to a hundred when we got to the section about sexuality. That was back when calling guys fags and girls lesbos as a joke was okay. Looking back on it now, I suspect there were a lot of people in that class like me, questioning themselves, who they were, what it meant. I was hoping to find an easy answer for myself. What I learned was if you’re looking for a clear definition of bisexuality, you won’t ever find it, especially in a human sexuality class that’s determined to give you all the options, to encourage you to have an open mind. I can tell you what it means to me, why I use the term. I enjoy connections—emotional and physical—with both genders. I’ve only had two relationship where the emotional and the physical have existed side by side. You and Alima.”
“What about friends? Please tell me you had friends.”
“Of course. The army’s training is focused on building camaraderie, on a soldier’s willingness to do everything they’re ordered to do to protect the life of the soldier next to them. Friendships, that’s one reason I loved the army so much. Then I lost good friends in the IED attack. Best friends. The pain reminded me of losing you. It was easy to avoid connections after that. They just weren’t worth the pain. Then I met Alima and she wasn’t having any of that.”
“Are you in love with Alima?” I whispered.
“You’re the love of my life, Sophie.”
As nonanswers went, it was a pretty good one. “You asked me the other day to give you a reason to stay. Would you?”
“And sneak around? No. Can we get back to kissing?”
Her hands and lips shut me up for a few minutes until I pulled away. “We need to multitask here.”
“It’s hard to make out and talk at the same time, Soph. And we only have thirty minutes left.”
“I’ll talk fast.”
She sighed. “You’re killing me, Smalls. Go on. Hurry up.”
“If I came out, left Charlie. Would you stay here in Lynchfield, make a life with me?”