The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,75
front door. I followed. Let Nora have the glare of the spotlight for a bit. I caught up to Logan on the front porch and closed the door behind us. “Where are you going?”
“Why do you care?”
“Logan, please. I have enough shit going on in there. I don’t need more from you.”
“I’m going to check on Grandmother. We’ll be lucky if she made it home. I’ve never seen her so upset, not even when Granddad died.”
“I have. Dinner is ready. Will you go back in and help your dad? Play hostess for a bit? I should be the one to check on Mother.” I didn’t want my daughter anywhere near Brenda. Though I knew she would never tell Logan anything, I didn’t want her to poison my daughter against me and that? She was fully capable of.
“Okay. Sure. I guess.”
We walked back inside arm in arm. The locals had surrounded Nora and were quizzing her. Good. She deserved it. Let her lie through her teeth like I’ve had to do for twenty years. She’d be fine; she was an excellent liar our senior year in high school.
I went over to Charlie and whispered that I was going to check on Brenda. “In the middle of the party?” he said.
“Yes, Charlie. Everything’s ready to eat, and Logan is here to help. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
“We aren’t making a very good impression here, Sophie.”
“I haven’t done anything wrong. If you want to chastise someone for ruining your party, go talk to Nora.”
I didn’t wait for his approval because I knew it wouldn’t come. Todd caught me on the way to the garage. Ivey was right behind him.
“What are you doing?” Todd said.
“Going to check on my mother.”
“Bullshit. We’re coming with you.”
“Todd, I...”
“I know what falling off the wagon looks like, Sophie. That’s why you called me.”
Alima walked up behind Ivey and made no bones about having eavesdropped. “Can I come? I don’t think I can take your friends for much longer.”
“Sure. Why not.”
* * *
I pulled up to Comanche Springs and put the car in Park. Late June in Texas is no time to be turning the AC off to save gas. During a blissful moment of silence, we watched teenagers jump off the twenty-foot limestone wall across the pond and into the water below.
“Um, this isn’t your mom’s,” Todd said.
“No. We drove by Brenda’s house. Her car was in the garage. I’ll check on her in a minute.”
“Ivey, Alima, can you give us a second?” Todd said.
“Sure.” The women left the car. Todd stayed in the back seat, and I looked at him in the rearview mirror.
“So that’s Alima?”
“Yep.”
“How’s your resolve?”
“It was good. Until I saw Nora and Alima walk in the door.”
“Has anything happened between you and Nora?”
I shook my head, feeling only slightly guilty for lying to him. Todd scooted forward in the back seat. I turned so we were face-to-face. “I’m proud of you, Sophie. Damn proud.”
Now I felt guilty. “Todd, I don’t know if I can do it.”
“You can. Don’t let your jealousy and competitiveness derail your recovery.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that woman out there shouldn’t factor into your actions at all. She is insignificant. What’s important is you make amends with Nora so you can move past this.”
“Move past it. Move past the fact that I’m a closeted lesbian in a miserable marriage?”
“No, Sophie. Move past Nora.”
I grimaced and looked away.
Todd was silent, and we watched Ivey and Alima talking a few yards away.
“If you and Nora were a one-time thing, I’d look the other way,” Todd said. “But, I don’t think it is, and you risk your sobriety if you go through with it and it ends badly. Which, it probably will.”
“I’m not under any illusions, Todd. I know this ends with her leaving. Do I want her to stay? Yes. Will I try to get her to stay? Hell, yes. I know it’s a dream. But, I’ll be damned if I’m not going to take the opportunity to feel alive again, to feel whole, even if it is for a week or two. I want—I need—to live in this new skin, to live with my sexuality as much as possible while I have the chance. I’m not going to be closeted forever. Late in life lesbianism. It’s a thing, you know.”
I got out of the car and called out to Ivey, who met me halfway. “She wants to talk to you.”