The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,29
she will. We need to have our stories straight.”
“Stories? There’s only one story, and Logan doesn’t need to know it. Nora’s over it. We’re over it. Let’s let bygones be bygones.” He cupped my face with his hands. “I know Nora being back has thrown you for a loop, but she’ll leave in a couple of weeks, and our life will go back to normal.”
I thought of our normal. We’d been normal, for a while, in the beginning. In love, bonded together by our love for Logan, determined to succeed when so many people expected, and wanted, us to crash and burn. I was the first one to realize the skeptics had been right, so I went to college to take my mind off of it. I faked it for years, was the model wife and mother, reliable civic volunteer. I threw myself into the church in the hopes that God would take the burden of my secret from me. When God couldn’t make me happy, I drank. I drank when I heard news of Nora. I drank when I didn’t. I drank when the thought of making love to Charlie made my stomach turn. I drank when he came home the first time smelling of another woman’s perfume. I drank when I didn’t care. I somehow kept it from Logan, and Charlie ignored it for as long as he could, always wanting to put a good face on for the town. Then, normal turned to Charlie covering for my drinking from the town and Logan. A year ago, I’d hit bottom, crawled my way out of the bottle with high hopes we could return to the promise of the early years. Charlie had tried, and so had I. I knew we were doomed, but Charlie still clung to the perfect-couple lie.
For years, I planned my escape from Charlie and this town. But, it never got further than a thought experiment. I felt obligated to stay. I’d seduced Charlie all those years ago, and he’d done the right thing when I got pregnant. I’d repeatedly tried to push him away, to get him to leave, but he’d stuck by me, supported me, encouraged me. Now, with Logan set to leave for college in a year, my thoughts kept wandering to what happened after. What kind of marriage would Charlie and I have when Logan wasn’t around to hold us together? What would our normal be then? Did I feel guilty enough to give Charlie the next forty or fifty years of my life?
Charlie continued, “Sophie, we’ve been through so much, worked hard to get where we are. We’re so close to achieving our goals, why risk ruining it by dredging up something that happened so long ago?”
“Achieving your goal, you mean.”
His brows furrowed. “Our goal. I can’t do it without you. You know that. You’re my secret weapon, the brains and the charm of the outfit.”
“Maybe I should run for State Senate.”
He nuzzled my neck. “You’d beat me in a landslide.” He kissed my ear, pulled on the lobe gently with his teeth. I shivered. “Nora’s great, but seeing her, talking to her, made me realize I made the right choice. You’re who I want next to me when I’m elected governor one day, my tough, strong, intelligent, beautiful wife,” he whispered. “You’re fucking glowing like you did the summer we fell in love. You remember?”
I nodded.
“I’ve missed you.” His hands slid under my shirt and caressed my back.
I closed my eyes, imagining someone else. “I’ve missed you, too.”
The scrape of Charlie’s stubble against my chin shattered the mental image I’d been holding in my mind, but it was too late to turn back. And, I wanted—needed—to make sure, one more time. Maybe this time I would feel what I was supposed to feel for him.
“Dinner can wait,” he said and led me down the hall to our bedroom.
* * *
That summer, seducing Charlie had been ridiculously easy. I take no credit for it. He was a horny eighteen-year-old boy angry at his girlfriend for leaving without a word and throwing his plans into disarray. So, I let him vent and cry and rage on my shoulder. Soon enough he wanted me and, at the time, I thought I wanted him.
Charlie didn’t have the corner on being angry with Nora. Our mutual rage fueled a summer of almost daily hookups, so energetic and passionate I believed for a brief time that it had been Nora specifically whom I loved, that