The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,104

again, and only grimaced slightly. “And Nora?”

I studied my mug for a moment, then forced myself to meet Logan’s eyes. “I knew I was still in love with her when I saw her at the funeral. I wasn’t crying for Ray, that’s for damn sure.”

The waitress returned with our pancakes. We were silent while we slathered the butter and syrup over the delicious-smelling gingerbread. The waitress freshened our coffee and left us alone again. We ate for a few minutes.

“Does Nora know you’re talking to me?”

I shrugged one shoulder and crunched into my bacon. “If she’s been reading my texts, she does. I haven’t heard from her since I left her house Saturday.”

“Why?”

“I have no idea.” I cleared my throat. “Well, I have a suspicion.” Logan waited. “Your dad went to see her Saturday night. I have no idea what he said to her, and he hasn’t let me out of his sight since.”

Loyalty to her father warred with her tentative trust in me. I was torn between not wanting to seem like I was trying to turn Logan against Charlie and giving him too much leeway.

“She made a comment on Saturday about me having, and I quote, a lot of fucking baggage. She’s been living her life openly for years. I suppose I can’t blame her if she’s not interested in taking me on.”

“Mom, look. I’m glad you told me, but there are just some things I don’t want to think about, like you being in a relationship with another woman. I’m sure one day I’ll be fine, but right now I just can’t deal with the visual.”

“Right. It’s ‘gross.’ I get it.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “No, I didn’t mean... It would be weird if it was with another man, too. Just you with anyone. I mean, even Dad. I think that’s gross.”

“Stop, okay. I know exactly what you meant Friday night.”

“Mom, please. I didn’t know.”

“I’ve dropped a bombshell on you, so I’ll extend a little grace to you that you haven’t necessarily given me. You know, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to realize they can’t just say whatever comes to their mind whenever it comes to their mind. Today is that day for you, I think.” I gestured to the waitress for more coffee.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Logan whispered.

“Apology accepted.” The waitress poured my coffee. “Thank you.” I smiled and she left. “Don’t worry; I’m not leaving your father.”

“You’re not?”

“If I left, came out to the town, how do you think it would go over?”

“Well, Grandmother would go ape shit.”

“I don’t give a shit about my mother. I’m thinking about you.”

“Me?”

“I don’t want you to have to endure a year of people teasing you about your lesbian mother.”

“Oh.”

“You need a little more time to get used to the idea, I think. And, I want you to enjoy your last year before going off to college, not be dealing with the fallout of my coming out. Plus, I want to help your father get elected to the State Senate. He’s worked hard, and it’s what he’s always wanted. It’s the least I can do.”

“Are you going to be miserable?”

I sighed. “The only thing that would make me miserable is if I lost you. So, I’m going to make a promise to you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Complete honesty. Within what you’re comfortable with, that is.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“Don’t ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, I don’t want you ever to think I’ve hated my life. I don’t. I love my job; I love you. Your dad is a good husband and a great father. What’s been miserable is denying who I am to myself, and not being honest with the people I love. Telling you, even though it’s going to take you time to fully accept it, I feel light as a feather. You are the only person whose opinion I care about.”

“And after I go to college?”

I met Logan’s eyes but didn’t answer.

“That’s not fair to Dad, is it?”

“After the election is over, I’m doing what’s best for me.”

Logan drank her coffee and didn’t wince. “Going to Nora?”

I crossed my fork and knife over my half-eaten pancakes and pushed the plate away, suddenly nauseated. “Nora is leaving today. I assume she didn’t change her plans. Which tells me whatever my future holds, she’s not interested in being part of it.”

twenty-eight

sophie

I couldn’t help myself; I drove out to Nora’s Tuesday after work. Rumors were swirling that the estate sale had been a bust. I’d