The Secret Wallflower Society - Jillian Eaton Page 0,74
pulled at a loose seam on the coverlet. “I don’t know if I’d describe myself as despondent. That’s rather dramatic.”
“Mice,” Calliope reminded her. “In your hair.”
“Oh, there aren’t mice in my hair.” She scowled at her so-called ‘friend’.
Percy eyed Helena’s braid. Or what was left of it after three days without running a comb through the tumultuous curls. “There could be. I’m going to ring for a hot bath. Is Ives about? He’ll know what to do with your hair.”
The ache in Helena’s chest increased. “I sent him back to London.”
“You did?” Calliope’s brow furrowed. “But…why?”
“To look for employment.”
“I still do not understand.”
Helena drew her knees up and looped her arms around them, like a child might in the midst of a thunderstorm. Except this was a storm that showed no signs of abating.
When she’d run from Stephen on that ill-fated morning two weeks ago, she had known, somewhere down deep inside, that she was doing what was best for both of them. But that didn’t make the pain of it any less. That didn’t make her feel any better. And even though she’d hoped time would heal her wounds, with each passing day, she only felt worse.
“Stephen – Lord Cambridge – was my benefactor. Now he is not. Which means I can no longer afford Ives’s salary.”
Or my house, she added silently. Or food. Or clothes.
Oddly enough, that wasn’t what concerned her the most. If she were honest, she didn’t even really care about the money. Because it had never been about the money.
It had always, always been about Stephen.
If only she hadn’t let him kiss her! If only she hadn’t opened her heart back up to love. If only she hadn’t realized what she was missing. Then surely, she wouldn’t have this…this decay inside of her. This awful, smothering weight pressing down on her soul even as everything else crumbled away.
“I told you,” Percy murmured, glancing at Calliope.
“You told her what?” Helena said, lifting her head.
“That you loved him. And I know he loves you.” She bit her lip. “What I cannot fathom is why he left.”
“He didn’t leave. Not exactly.” When her throat tightened, Helena reached for her glass of water only to find it empty.
“Here,” Calliope said, quickly lifting the pitcher.
“Thank you.” Taking a sip of cool water, she closed her eyes, then opened them. “Stephen didn’t leave,” she repeated. “I – I sent him away.”
And for all her life, she’d never forget the hurt in his face when she’d told him not to touch her.
“This is ridiculous!” In an unprecedented display of anger, Percy slid off the bed. Violet eyes bright with fury, she jabbed her finger at Helena. “And I won’t stand for it! Do you hear me?”
Helena’s mouth opened in shock. “I...”
“Stephen loves you. And you love him! Do you know how rare that is?” she demanded.
“Um…” Helena glanced helplessly at Calliope, who simply shrugged and held up her hands as if to say, ‘I’m not going to argue with her’.
“Furthermore,” Percy continued, “I will not – I will not – allow a foolish miscommunication to take that love away from you! If you won’t tell Stephen why you married his father, then I will. You’re kind and passionate and loyal, Helena, and you deserve this love. More than you deserve to sit in a dark room and feel sorry for yourself!” She took a deep breath. “And that is all I have to say on the matter.”
“That was brilliant,” Calliope declared. “Positively brilliant. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Percy, you’re a force.”
A pleased blush overtook the duchess’s cheeks. “Do you really think so?” Then she peeked at Helena, and some of her color disappeared. “I – I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have yelled, and I–”
“No, you should have yelled.” Throwing aside her blankets, Helena stood up and wrapped Percy in a hug. “And you’re right, Stephen and I do love each other. But…it’s complicated.”
Percy drew back. “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” she argued. “If you’d just tell him–”
“I did,” Helena interrupted.
“Oh. Well, that’s splendid! But then…why did you send him away?”
“Yes,” Calliope said, coming up on Helena’s other side. “Why did you send him away?”
Trapped between her two best friends in the entire world, faced with a love she could never have and filled with guilt for an act she did not regret, Helena could no longer keep her most heavily guarded secret. “Because there’s something else I couldn’t tell him. Something I