The Secret Wallflower Society - Jillian Eaton Page 0,59

I met Stephen before I was ever engaged. Before I even knew who Cambridge was, let alone that he had a son.”

“I’m sorry,” Percy whispered.

Helena flicked her a glance. “I haven’t even told you the worst part yet.”

“Yes, but I can tell it’s coming, and I wanted to give my sympathies in advance.”

“You’re a dear friend, Persephone.”

“And you’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” the duchess said earnestly. “You and Calliope. If I were to never fall in love, I do believe I would be quite content, for who needs men when you have sisters?”

“You can’t kiss your sisters,” Helena pointed out.

“No, but then sisters can’t break your heart…or your bones,” Percy said softly as she touched her nose, her fingers trailing self-consciously over a tiny bump in the middle of it. A tiny bump that hadn’t been there before she met her husband.

“He won’t find you here.” Helena knew she was repeating herself, but she did not know how else to reassure Percy of her safety. She supposed they could flee to the Highlands or take a ship to the Americas. Change their names and live as vagabonds with no true home. But what sort of life would that be?

Percy might have been in hiding, but she was still a duchess. Why should she have to change her name and flee the country when her husband paraded openly around London with his mistress, dining on champagne and caviar?

Helena was sick and tired of men always getting whatever they wanted, while the women they’d professed to love were cast aside like broken toys as soon as their usefulness had expired.

It was more than unfair.

It was wrong.

“But Lord Cambridge found you here,” said Percy.

“What?” Helena blinked, having lost herself in her thoughts.

“Lord Cambridge. He found you here, didn’t he?” Sliding off the armrest, Percy stood up and walked to the fireplace. She picked up a small porcelain bird off the mantle and ran her thumb across its beak, then set it back down. “Unless you invited him.”

Helena snorted. “I definitely did not invite him.”

“Then if he can find you, surely Andrew could find me.” A puzzled line creased Percy’s temple. “Although I’m confused as to why Lord Cambridge is here. From what little I observed, it was quite obvious the two of you are not…erm…”

“Lovers?” Helena suggested.

“Oh, I didn’t–”

“It’s all right. I was just having a bit of fun.” Crossing her legs at the ankle, Helena slid even farther down into her chair. She toyed with a loose tendril of hair, wrapping it round and round her finger as she conceived of the best way to share her convoluted relationship with Stephen.

“We really only knew each other for one night,” she murmured. “We met at a ball. It was my second season. My mother was determined I was to make a match, and after I tired of dancing with one clumsy suitor after another I escaped to the gardens. Stephen discovered me there, in front of a fountain.”

Percy smiled hesitantly. “That sounds romantic.”

“It was. We talked for what felt like hours, and then we did more than talk.” Her mouth curved at the memory. It wasn’t the last kiss she’d had, but it was most definitely the sweetest. “I believed he was different.” Her smile fell away. “As it turns out, he wasn’t. That was the end of it. Until today.”

“But you said you loved him,” Percy reminded gently. “Isn’t his being here a good thing?”

Helena plucked at a loose thread on her skirt. “I thought I was in love with him. When I was a young girl, I also used to think elephants could use their ears to fly. In hindsight, what I felt was surely nothing more than infatuation. He was strikingly handsome, and wickedly charming, and he was the first man who actually seemed to understand me.” Pensive, she reached for the brandy and took a sip, her bottom lip lingering on the smooth edge of the glass. “More than anything, I desperately wanted to be understood.

“The ton saw me as just another pretty debutante, all wrapped up in bows and ribbons and searching for the first wealthy suitor who would have her. But I was more than that.” I am more than that, she reminded herself. “Stephen found me amusing and clever instead of simply beautiful. And perhaps…perhaps I did fall in love with him that night. Just a little. But if I did, it was only love at first sight. It was never meant to last