The Secret Wallflower Society - Jillian Eaton Page 0,14
he said roughly, tossing a sapphire blue tailcoat onto the bed. A black waistcoat followed, then a pair of black trousers. “I’ll wear this. See that they’re pressed and ready for tonight.”
“Of course, my lord.”
“A carriage,” Leo muttered. He lifted his head and met his valet’s wide-eyed stare. “I’ll need the carriage brought round as well. Do you know what time this bloody thing starts?”
He’d forgotten all the little pieces that went into going out for a night. Mostly because it was Heather who had taken care of them. She’d selected his clothes. She’d ordered the carriage. She’d made sure they were either on time or fashionably late, depending on what sort of event it was. His only job had been to tell her how beautiful she looked, and to kiss her as they’d left house. Two things he’d always been more than happy to do.
“I will find out, my lord.”
“Good.” Still Leo hesitated as a familiar, clawing sense of urgency started to fill his chest. His breath shortened, his arms became heavier, and a knot of tension started to grow in the middle of his shoulder blades. It rippled across his skin, following the lines of his muscles until it spread onto the base of his skull. He clenched his jaw. “I’m going for a walk. See that everything is readied by the time I return.”
Grabbing a hat and yanking it low over his brow, he stormed out, and as his stride lengthened and he drew in a deep lungful of air the tension slowly started to fade and the bands around his chest loosened, allowing his shoulders to relax and his heart to beat at a regular rhythm.
The attacks (as he called them) had begun during the fever. As he stared down into the flushed faces of his wife and baby, helpless to do anything that might bring them comfort, that might save them, he’d felt a similar clawing deep inside of him, as if there was somewhere he desperately needed to be, but he didn’t know where it was or how to get there.
After they died the attacks came almost every day. When he thought of leaving the house his heart began to thump. When he went to call on an acquaintance his skin felt too tight for his body. When he ventured out to one of his clubs he broke out in a cold sweat. Eventually, it became easier to just stay at home.
Over time the attacks occurred with less and less frequency. This was the first one he’d had in nearly a year, and as he cut across the park he cursed Helena under his breath.
Why couldn’t she have stayed away indefinitely? Yes, they’d been friends once. All three of them. He, Heather, and Helena. The women had been closest, of course. They’d known each other long before he had come into the picture. But now Helena was a part of his past he didn’t want to revisit. A part that was too painful to relive. And he despised her for bringing buried emotions bubbling to the surface once again.
A dry twig snapped beneath the heel of his boot as he marched down a winding path. Leaves swirled down around him, their brilliant array of colors going completely unnoticed. He had no clear destination in mind. No idea of where he was going or where he’d end up. If he were in the country he could have traveled for miles over hill and dale. His estate was vast, the amount of acreage nearly immeasurable.
But here, in the middle of London, open land was restricted to parks and gardens that were filled with too many people. People who stared and then whispered frantically to each other when he passed by them, for even with his hat pulled as low as he could manage while still being able to see, his countenance was instantly recognizable. And if not his countenance than surely his size, for at a towering six feet, three inches tall, Leo was easily one of the largest men in the entire city.
A few of the braver pedestrians tried to greet him, including a trio of young ladies in matching pastels. He sent them scampering with a single stare, his ice blue eyes blasting a frigid gust of air so cold it had them clutching their parasols as they hurried away. A grim smile attaching itself to the sharp corners of his mouth, he continued on.