The Secret Wallflower Society - Jillian Eaton Page 0,101
throat. She managed–barely–to hold it at bay. “If Andrew hired you, I can only assume it was for your expertise. Which means you’ve done this before. Do you swoop in and rescue all the damsels in distress you come across?”
Or am I special to you?
The question rested on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t dare say it aloud. How could she, when she didn’t know what she wanted his answer to be?
“You’re not a damsel, Persephone. Any more than I’m a knight in shining armor. Damsels are weak. And you…” A muscle ticked high in his jaw. “You may just be the strongest woman I’ve ever met. I am not a good man, love. I am not a hero. But I’ve enough decency left in me to understand the difference between right and wrong, and turning you over to that filth wouldn’t just be wrong. It’d be a bloody sin.”
“Oh. I…I see.” It was all she could think to say as Lucas righted his chair and sat back down. This time when he drank his wine she picked up her own glass and joined him, indulging in a deep swallow to calm her frayed nerves.
Bessie came in to remove the second course and deliver the third, a rich chocolate cake drizzled in raspberry sauce and topped with a generous dollop of sweet cream. Percy’s mouth watered when she saw it, and she scooted to the edge of her seat in anticipation.
Lucas took note of the small movement. “Do you’ve a sweet tooth, love?”
“A tiny one,” she admitted, her gaze on the sumptuous dessert.
Andrew had always limited her sugar. “It’s for our own goo” he’d told her on their wedding day when she’d requested a second piece of cake. “I don’t want a fat wife”. Newly married and not wanting to displease her husband, she’d obeyed the decree. It was only one request, she had reasoned. What as the harm? Little did she know it was but the first of many, and by the end of their first year together, Andrew’s rules would comprise her entire world.
Do this, not that.
Listen to me, not yourself.
Wear what I’ve selected, not what you want.
From sunup to sundown, he had been in charge of her every movement. Her every word. Her every idea. She’d lived in constant fear of disappointing him. Of making him have to discipline her. Which was how he’d always made it seem. Not that he was hurting her, but that she’d chosen to be hurt by not listening
As an old, familiar cramp twisted within her belly, Percy looked away from the dessert.
“I’m…I’m no longer hungry,” she said softly.
From the other end of the table, Lucas lowered the knife he’d been using to cut the cake into slices. “What’s wrong?”
“There isn’t anything wrong. I…I just lost my appetite. That’s all.” She could feel his gaze upon her as she stared at her lap, and she bit hard the inside of her cheek when she heard the legs of his chair scrape across the floor. He brought her a plate and then knelt beside her, his left arm going around her back while his right picked up her fork.
“Glastonbury isn’t here, love.” Lucas’s gentle understanding brought a flood of tears rushing to Percy’s eyes. She blinked them away as he scooped up a bite of cake. “The only power he has left over you resides in that beautiful, clever mind of yours.”
“I know that. I do,” she insisted, her emotional proclamation more for her own benefit than Lucas’s. “But I still hear him. I still…I still fear him. And I hate it. I hate that he still has control over me.” A single tear trickled down her cheek. She dashed it away. “I hate that I am crying over a dessert. A dessert that I am afraid to eat because if he was here, he wouldn’t let me.”
“Except he isn’t here.” Lucas put his hand on her shoulder. “I am. And I say you can eat all the damned cake you want. Or none at all. Because it’s your decision. It’s your decision, love, and he only has as much control over you as you allow.”
In her heart, she knew Lucas was right.
But it was her head that she still needed to convince.
“It does look like a very nice cake,” she whispered.
“Why not try it, and find out?”
Percy opened her mouth.
Carefully, Lucas slid the fork between her lips.
“How is it?” he murmured after she’d chewed and swallowed.