Secret Plunge - Jasmin Miller Page 0,17

wants one more shot at the Olympics, and I don’t want to take that away from him. I know how important the relationship between a swimmer and his coach is. It’s based on trust. How shaky would that be if I told the truth?

Would my dad even believe this was all a coincidence and that we didn’t know each other? Would my dad stop training Ryan? So many ways this could turn into an even bigger mess.

“Just trying to find my way to the surface again. You know how hard swimming against the tide is.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you.” His gaze is solid, and it stabilizes me. I pull strength from it, hoping it’ll last long enough to get me back home safely before my next breakdown.

At least it helps me breathe for the first time all evening.

“Thank you.” My voice trembles, but I don’t care.

He opens his arms and I welcome the warm embrace. It settles the horrible chaos inside myself somewhat. It’s funny. I didn’t really grow up with my dad in my everyday life, but I never felt unloved. Will it be the same for my baby? I had my mom. I never felt like I lacked anything. I hope Ryan steps up and gives these sorts of hugs to our child, because dad hugs are the best.

I’m not sure how much time has passed when Sharon’s voice echoes through the house, calling my dad.

“Bedtime.” His eyes wander over my face. “How’s your head feeling?”

“It hurts but not too bad.”

“You want something for it?”

“No, but thanks.”

“Anytime, honey. Anytime. Get some good sleep, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Dad.”

I watch him leave and close the door.

My mask drops.

That’s the real reason I have to go back home. Because I can’t pretend I’m okay. Not in front of Sharon and my dad. And especially not in front of Ryan.

Because I’m so not okay.

Seven

Ryan

My thoughts are on Harper, like they’ve been ever since she left yesterday. She should be landing back home any minute now. That knowledge leaves me with an empty feeling. I wish I could have spent more time with her. Gotten to know her better. Explored that connection I feel to her some more. It was there on New Year’s Eve, and I felt it again the second she stepped back into my life.

There’s something about her that goes beyond her physical beauty, even though she’s a total knockout. But it’s also our conversations. They’re easy and fun, and I feel a pull toward her that I can’t remember ever having with another woman before.

When I walk in the front door after a long day of training, my phone rings in my pocket. My mom.

I accept the call and head to the kitchen to drop off my swim bag and to get a drink. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, baby. How are you?”

It’s good to hear her familiar voice. “Good. How are you?”

“Your grandmother is driving me insane, but other than that, everything’s good here.”

My grandmother talks in the background and my mom chuckles.

Some things never change.

My mom and grandma have always been close, even though she’s my dad’s mom. It was never really a choice when it came to Mom and Dad moving to Southern California to help my grandma—who refused to leave her beloved home. Not out of duty or a wrong sense of obligation, though. It’s just the kind of people my parents are. They take care of their own. Period. I guess that’s what made it easy for me to take in Zane when they left. It’s what family does.

Some of the guys have roasted me over the years, telling me I had a cockblocker living with me. But I know I was lucky. He’s a good kid, and we all want him to be a good man. If others thought that was a sacrifice for me, to lose opportunities to score, it didn’t matter. There’d be time for that. Right now, it’s my career . . . and maybe a baby.

I grab my laptop and drink and walk to the couch. “How’s work?”

“Good. The kids are little turds sometimes, but that’s no news. Every teacher has to deal with that. Your dad has it worse with the teenagers. At least mine are still young and impressionable.” My mom can’t hide the affection in her voice. Even though it was weird to see them at school when I was growing up, I know they’re both remarkable teachers and well liked by their