Secret Admirer - D.J. Jamison Page 0,71
to see your parents. Did it go badly?”
“Understatement.”
I didn’t have the words or the emotional energy to explain any better.
Benji stepped in close, and before I could tell him I wasn’t in the mood for any sexy times, he threw his arms around me.
I froze. But when he continued to hold me, I slowly sagged into his embrace. The feelings I’d shoved down deep on the ride home came back to the surface.
“I’m fine,” I said thickly. “I just … really hate being right.”
“Right about what?”
I shuddered a breath. “My parents, myself, the toxic reaction we bring out in one another.”
“I’m sorry.”
He offered no judgment, no questions, just … heartfelt support.
“I don’t know what I expected,” I mumbled. “I’m nothing but a payday to them.”
Benji tugged back to look at me. “What do you mean?”
I exhaled hard. “They didn’t want me to go to college. I was working full time the summer before I went, and even though I’d told them I wanted to go, they didn’t think I’d ever do it. When I did … they were pissed. They’d been living off my paychecks, and they didn’t like that suddenly they were on their own. They accused me of being selfish—”
“That’s crazy,” Benji broke in, sounding so outraged I almost smiled. “What kind of parents don’t want better for their kid?”
“I don’t know. Mine?” I pulled out of his arms, sitting down on the closed toilet lid. Benji balanced on the edge of the tub across from me, our knees touching. “Maybe they’re jealous because they didn’t have the money to go, the opportunity. But also…”
“What?”
I swallowed hard, shrugged. “I’d been paying a share of the bills since I was fourteen.”
“Fourteen?” Benji’s eyes were wide. “You were just a kid.”
“I worked odd jobs and stuff. Mowed lawns. Had a newspaper route for a while. Then, when I was in high school, I worked at The Burger Joint.”
Benji nodded. “I do remember you always working.”
“Story of my life.”
Benji reached for my hand, squeezing. “I’m so sorry. You’ve worked really hard to get where you are, and it’s all been handed to me. Jeremy, too. We’ve had it so easy.”
“Without Jeremy, I’d have never made it to school.”
“Well, he did something right then.”
I smiled. “Yeah. But my parents were hoping I’d move back home after graduation, pick up where I left off.”
“And that’s not what you want,” Benji guessed.
“No,” I said softly. “I want to live my own life, not theirs. Does that make me selfish?”
Benji huffed. “Ace, you’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that, but it meant a lot, coming from him.
I’m the selfish one,” he continued, “getting upset that you left without waiting to find out why.”
“I should have told you. I just didn’t want to ruin your holiday.”
“Ace, it’s fine,” he said. “Jeremy set me straight, and even if he hadn’t … you signed up for a mature relationship, and that means telling you that … whatever your plans after graduation, you’ve earned the right to your own path, even if it’s far from here.”
“I can’t go far now.”
“Why not?”
I met his eyes. “You know why.”
He bit down on his bottom lip, reminding me of how much I loved to kiss him. Voice soft, he said, “You have to do what’s best for you. Even if that’s not being close to me.”
I stood, tugging his hand to pull him up, and kissed him. “See? That right there is exactly why being with you is best for me.”
He gazed at me, eyes serious. “I mean it, Ace. You need to be happy, and if you can’t be happy here, then you need to go.”
“And leave you at the mercy of another secret admirer? I don’t think so.”
He scoffed, a smile playing at his lips. “I’ve only got one secret admirer.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
That he’d be supportive, even if it meant me leaving him behind, was incredibly amazing. This was what love was supposed to look like. Not demanding or manipulative. We’d barely gotten a start, me and Benji, and he was already putting my happiness at a higher priority than my own family did.
When we parted, I rested my forehead against his. “I just found you. I’m not going to let my parents ruin this for me.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Benji. I want to be where you are. But thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For caring.”
“I do care. I care so much.”
I kissed him gently. “Me