Secret Admirer - D.J. Jamison Page 0,63

we all, as in Jeremy and us adjusting to the new world order, or we all, as in each and every one of us, individually?

My insecurities wanted to surface, but I’d shoved them down ruthlessly, refusing to ask Ace to explain himself. It would all become clear soon enough. In the meantime, Ace had said he loved me. He’d said I was worth the risk. I might have made the fallout with Jeremy worse by dragging my feet, but that didn’t mean Ace would give up on me.

“Hey, guys,” I said shakily, forcing a smile, as Ace and Jeremy strolled up with their bags.

“Morning,” Ace said. “Sleep well?”

“Sure,” I lied. “You?”

“Yep.”

“Well, I slept for crap,” Jeremy volunteered, thrusting out his hand. “Give me the keys. I’m driving.”

The car I’d driven to campus was technically his car, so I didn’t argue, dropping the keys into his palm.

“Of course you want to drive,” Ace retorted. “Control freak.”

Jeremy flipped him off. “Better to be in control than—”

“Out of it,” they both finished.

“I don’t know,” I piped up, needing to be included. “I like it when Ace is out of control.”

A sudden silence fell, tense and uncomfortable. “What, too soon?” I asked.

Ace and Jeremy looked at each other. “Yeah,” Ace said.

“Definitely too soon,” Jeremy said, his expression once again screaming, what the fuck has happened to the world?

Their friendship, their history, was so long that they fell back into the rhythm of it instantly, while I was still reeling. I already felt like an imposter when I thought too hard about being Ace’s boyfriend.

Ace fucking Collins dating me? It was insane.

Now, with my brother here, it sort of tilted my reality a few more degrees. I was still adjusting to the idea of me and Ace, together, and now there was Ace and Jeremy, the dastardly duo, as my dad jokingly called them.

Jeremy loaded up his bag and headed for the driver’s side. I lingered by the trunk, desperate for a sign of how Ace was feeling. “Is he okay?” I asked in a low voice.

Ace shrugged. “As much as can be expected.”

“Right…”

Ace took my duffel from me, wedging it into the remaining space in the trunk, and closed the lid. “You want shotgun?”

“Nah, you take it.” Ace had said Jeremy would be okay, but there was still some uncomfortable tension in the air. I knew Jeremy wouldn’t blame me. I was his baby brother. No, if he was still angry, he’d direct it at Ace. It was important for them to get back on an even keel. I wanted them to catch up, remember why they were friends before we got home and had to deal with my parents.

Poor Ace. I was putting him through the wringer.

He started to turn away, but I snagged the waistband of his track pants, pulling him back toward me. Leaning up, I landed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, but he was already pulling away.

“Better hit the road,” he said, his smile tight.

I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat. I had persuaded Ace to let me be the one to tell my brother, then talked him into waiting until Thanksgiving. It was my fault Jeremy felt we were keeping secrets. Ace had every right to be upset with me, but I didn’t have the freedom to ask him why he’d pulled away from me.

Was he angry, or was he just trying to avoid PDAs in front of my brother? As I crawled in the back seat, listening to the murmur of their voices as Jeremy started up the car, I really didn’t know.

Even worse, I couldn’t help feeling like I was the third wheel.

The dastardly duo was together again, and I was in the back seat, the little brother tagging along for the ride.

It wasn’t true. Logically, I knew that. Jeremy came back to drive down to Thanksgiving with me, and I’d told Ace to take the front seat. But flooded with dozens of little memories, the two of them as close as peas in a pod and me trying desperately to get their attention, the little kid trying to keep up, it was hard to remember how comfortably I’d fit into Ace’s life and him into mine.

Was I kidding myself, thinking we could do this? Despite everything, I was still his best friend’s little brother.

Ace

Jeremy and I had fallen into an uncomfortable truce last night, finishing up our meal and then crashing at the frat without talking about Benji.

This morning, he’d been