Secret Admirer - D.J. Jamison Page 0,27

he found this bracelet, after so recently commenting on the one I still wore, he’d finally realize I was the real secret admirer. The thought alone was enough to raise my blood pressure. What if he hated the idea of me thinking of him that way? What if I just made everything worse?

After Benji blew off our tutoring session, I’d cornered Jonas in the hopes of figuring out how much I needed to worry. It hadn’t exactly gone to plan.

When I asked if they’d been in contact, he’d seemed puzzled that I cared. Then, when I continued to press for details, he’d only clammed up further.

“We’ve texted, so?”

“Just texting?” I’d asked. “Like as friends, or something else?”

“Why are you so interested? You’re not his keeper.”

When I started to protest, he’d added, “Or his boyfriend.”

My jaw had snapped shut. I had no comeback to that one, and he knew it. The way he looked at me, it was almost as if he suspected … but there was no reason anyone in the house would think I was into Benji. They’d all seen me hook up with girls in the past.

It was much more likely that they’d think I was looking out for Benji, like a good friend or a brotherly figure. And hell, Benji saw me that way anyway, didn’t he?

Benji’s words returned to needle at me.

With Jeremy gone, you’re like my surrogate big brother.

I hated that he saw me that way, but if I was going to be stuck with the label…

“He’s Jeremy’s little brother,” I reminded Jonas. “He might not be around, but I am.”

Jonas had looked at me, his gaze speculative before brightening to a teasing gleam.

“Right, well, don’t worry.” He’d clapped me on the shoulder and grinned. “Benji’s a big boy, and I always make sure my dates leave happy.”

Fucker. He knew those words would get under my skin and fester.

Jonas was amused by my concern, maybe even annoyed by it. He wasn’t going to take me seriously or give me the reassurances I needed. And with Benji barely acknowledging my texts and dodging any attempts I made to connect, it looked like I was going to have no choice but to throw myself on the truth grenade.

I wasn’t ready. Not even close. Once Benji knew, I couldn’t pretend anymore. I couldn’t deny that this was … life changing. And after the way he reacted to my kiss, I couldn’t discount the possibility he’d be weirded out by it. Best-case scenario: I’d have to come to terms with my feelings. Worst-case? I might be losing a friend, maybe even two of them.

But I had to take the chance, had to hope that Benji had just been surprised by that sudden kiss, not turned off. Because I already knew, in the heart of me, what I wanted.

I wanted Benji. I wanted to hold him, kiss him. More than that, though, I wanted his heart. Because he already had mine.

Consequences be damned.

Benji

From the sidewalk, Ace’s frat house looked like any other, with the exception of the sign displaying their Greek letters. Our small college didn’t come anywhere near the massive Greek rows that probably existed at large universities, but there were a handful of fraternities and sororities tucked on the backside of campus.

And tonight, it was fulfilling stereotypes, with music spilling out the door as people milled around the front yard with solo cups and vaped in clusters on the large, covered porch.

A frat party was in full swing, and I was about to enter the fray.

See, this is what happens when you try to play it cool with a guy and ask to “hang out” instead of spelling out that you mean a date. It was possible Jonas asked all his dates to party with the frat, but I wouldn’t know.

I didn’t know even if this was a real date, but Tracy had said I should go anyway.

“Might as well see how he treats you when he’s around his friends,” she’d said. “If he’s an ass, it’s best to find out quickly. Trust me.”

I tugged at my T-shirt, feeling naked without my hoodie, but Tracy had forbidden me from wearing it. I’d paid her back by dragging her with me for moral support, at least until I got my bearings and found Jonas.

She nudged me forward, her hand on my arm, grounding me amidst all the chaos. She’d come over to pre-game with me since I’d been nervous as hell. Now that we were here, I was less