A Second Chance in the Show Me State - Jessie Gussman Page 0,51

first time, like she admired him, like his skinny teenage body was everything she’d dreamed of.

“I felt like Superman that day.” And every day thereafter that they’d been together. She just had that way of making him feel like he could do anything. Anything at all, because she was right there beside him, admiring him, encouraging him, and loving him.

He’d wanted to be all that for her, too. But he’d always fallen short.

Forgetting birthdays. Forgetting anniversaries. Forgetting the day of their first kiss. Even though it meant so much to her.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you,” he finally said. It wasn’t exactly what he meant, but it was a start.

“I don’t know what gave you that idea, but it wasn’t true. It’s not true.” Her voice held an edge, and her words were almost snappy.

He hadn’t meant to break the spell. He could get lost in thinking about those years. Lost in thinking about their kiss. Lost in thinking about how she made him better. Lost in thinking about changing history and making it so he had done the same for her, instead of just taking and not giving anything back.

She might have said it wasn’t true, but he knew it was. He could look back and see it just as plain as day.

“That’s where you’re supposed to graciously say ‘I forgive you,’” he said, trying to make it sound funny, but he supposed his voice sounded just as sad as hers.

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“There is,” he insisted. “I just told you, you made me feel like Superman. That’s not an exaggeration. Made me feel like I could do anything. Be anything. Have anything. All because you were beside me, supporting me and believing in me and admiring every single thing I did, no matter how awful it was. When you kissed me, when you touched me, it just made everything better and right.”

She started to say something, but he touched her arm, because he wasn’t done.

His hand slid down her forearm, and his fingers, hesitant at first, threaded slowly with hers again.

She didn’t pull away. She didn’t tell him no. And he relished the familiar feel of her hand in his. He’d never held anyone else’s hand like this; her imprint was the only one. He’d never wanted another.

“And yet I couldn’t remember our anniversary. I forgot your birthday. I forgot to get you a Christmas gift at least twice. I didn’t remember the day of our first kiss. And I honestly can’t even remember your middle name right now. You used to always tell me I would remember the things that were important to me. I knew that you were important to me. But I guess you weren’t important enough, or I didn’t appreciate you enough, for me to make sure those days were special. Because they were. Anything that was important to you, if I loved you like I should have, should have been important to me too. Your birthday, your middle name, your favorite color, all of those things should’ve been things that I knew. And I’m saying I’m sorry.”

He could hear the little crackle as her head moved back and forth across the wall behind her.

“No. No. Just stop. Those dates don’t matter. I fussed about it, you’re right. And yeah, I think our anniversary is special, and I like to celebrate it. But it was pretty rude of me to expect you to like the same things I did. Maybe you don’t like anniversary celebrations.”

“I never forgot my own birthday. I like birthday celebrations on my day. I should’ve done the same for you.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

“It doesn’t because—”

It was her turn to touch him, with soft fingers that ran down the inside of his forearm while she held his other hand. Those fingers rested there while he was quiet. Burning but soothing at the same time.

Reid’s heart tripped. It was the touch he remembered.

“You looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. You never looked at anyone else. There was never a question in anyone’s mind who you were with and who you wanted to be with. I remember a couple of times you were given a lab partner that wasn’t me, and I think everyone hated to be partnered with you, because all you did was stare at me. Not that I wanted anyone else to feel bad, because I didn’t, but I loved that the whole world knew exactly who you wanted to be