smiling emoji and then added him to my contacts. That little interaction made my soul lift and feel like nothing bad could happen to me. My next dog was a Great Dane, and I didn’t even care about all the splashing that soaked my entire outfit and the floor. It was fine. I felt happy and hopeful for the first time in a long time, and I was going to get to see Noah again.
Although I wondered how I could both wish for and dread something at the same time.
Sunshine and I went out for dinner, and as the hours passed, that mixture of anticipation and fear became a potent cocktail that almost made me cancel no less than half a dozen times.
But every time I got my phone out, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Even if I told myself I didn’t want to see him again, I did.
I made some brownies, thinking that it would be a nice gesture to bring them over, since he’d fed me last night. But then they smelled so good, and while I knew chocolate was not going to mitigate what was about to happen, I figured it would put me in a better headspace to emotionally deal with everything.
And then I accidentally ate seven pieces.
So when seven thirty rolled around, I felt a little sick to my stomach, which I attributed to gorging myself on brownies. But I went into the guest bedroom and got dressed. I threw my hair up into a ponytail and put on jeans and a T-shirt. Dressing up for it felt like it would make it too much of a big deal. I was just going over to my new friend’s house to hang out.
And possibly smooch him.
I brushed and flossed my teeth really well. Really, really well. Like, I almost made my gums bleed. I also put some mints in my pocket, just in case.
I tried to psych myself up and hang on to that sliver of hope that this was going to work. I would conquer my fear of kissing and, as a side bonus, have a fantastic story to tell at parties someday. Even though no one was going to believe me.
I said goodbye to Sunshine and walked the short distance up to Noah’s house. When I got to his door, before I could even knock or ring the doorbell, Magnus was barking. I heard Noah call out, “Come in!”
Although it felt a little awkward to just walk into his house, I did it anyway, petting Magnus and saying hello to him. Once he’d been properly greeted, he trotted off.
It concerned me a bit that Noah didn’t keep his doors locked. Although maybe he’d specifically left it open just for me.
“Hello?” I called out. For one second I was worried that Noah was in his bedroom and expected me to join him, and I nearly bolted back out the door.
“I’m in the kitchen!” His mouth sounded muffled, like he was eating.
Sure enough, he had another bowl of cereal that he was eating over the sink. He’d apparently just gotten out of the shower again, his hair hanging down in wet strands. I was struck with a desire to push it off his face, but he beat me to it. I sighed. I loved when he did that.
“You just missed me clearing out my fridge. I saw on the news that romaine lettuce was recalled.”
I liked how he seemed calm and mellow. Like this huge thing wasn’t about to happen and we were just hanging out together. “Do you know what doesn’t get recalled?”
“Is it chocolate?” he asked.
“It’s chocolate.”
“Do you want anything?”
“No,” I said. “I’m good.” Not really, but I was trying hard to calm my heart rate down. “I’m not keeping you from some wild Hollywood party, am I?”
“That’s not really my scene,” he said after swallowing down a big gulp. “I like going to the theater, but that’s a little harder to do these days. I spend a lot of my time reading and watching movies. Cheesy as it may sound, it helps me hone my craft. And if there’s one thing I learned in the military, it’s the importance of doing things right.”
Yeah, and he was going to show me the right way to kiss. My knees buckled slightly, and I leaned against the wall for support. “Do you ever watch your own movies?”
“No. You know how when you see a video of yourself or hear a recording of your voice