written in Zev’s messy handwriting across the front of the envelope. His penmanship hadn’t changed a bit.
“He’s the only person I’ve ever known to call you Carls,” Birdie said.
A lump swelled in Carly’s throat. “Yeah,” she said just above a whisper and slipped the envelope into her back pocket with her phone.
Birdie looked at her wide-eyed. “You’re not going to open it?”
“I can’t right now. If it’s goodbye, I’ll be sad. If it’s not, I’ll be confused. There’s no good outcome.”
“I swear, you have been out of the dating game for way too long.”
“I date,” she insisted.
“Two or three times a year does not count as dating. If you relied on men to sustain yourself, you’d be emaciated. Carly, come on. Don’t you believe in destiny?”
Carly fought a wave of sadness. “Fate took my best friend’s life, and then it stole my boyfriend away from me, so I don’t really buy into all that mumbo jumbo about things being written in the stars.”
“It’s true that fate took Tory, and I know that must have been horrible. But Zev’s leaving wasn’t fate. It was destiny. Fate is that which can’t be changed. Destiny is what comes through actively making decisions and committing to a path of changing, learning, and growing. When you came to Colorado, you took responsibility for your life and your destiny. You took a leap of faith and look what it’s done for you.”
“That wasn’t me taking responsibility. I was just trying to survive a broken heart,” Carly corrected her.
“That’s what I’m saying. You made a conscious decision to make changes and survive what you’d gone through. Don’t you think Zev could have been doing the same thing when he left Pleasant Hill? Trying to survive in the only way he knew how? You said Beau stayed away from home, too.”
“Beau lost his girlfriend. Zev didn’t. I was right there with him. He’s the one who ran away. I lost him.”
“I know, and that’s got to hurt more than I could ever imagine. But maybe that envelope tells you why. Or maybe it’s an apology since you sent him away last night. You’ll never know unless you open it. But that’s all I’ll say on the subject. Promise.” She walked toward the counter and stopped before she reached it. “I think you should open it.”
“You just broke your promise,” Carly teased.
“At least think about it,” Birdie urged. “He seemed really nice. Before I knew who he was, I was all geared up to give him my come-on-big-boy lines.”
“You and probably every other woman who has ever met him. Miranda hit on him in class last night, and he ate it up.” A wave of jealousy moved through her.
“She’s female, so that’s no surprise,” Birdie said lightly.
“I thought you weren’t going to say anything else about him.”
“I’m not.” Birdie knitted her brow and pressed her lips together, looking like she was going to burst.
Carly threw her hands up and said, “Just say it already. Get it all out so I can go make—and eat—a white-chocolate cheesecake.”
“Please open it!” Birdie exclaimed. “I’m dying to know what it says.”
“Birdie. You know where I’ll be if you need me.” She headed for the kitchen.
As she set out the ingredients for the cheesecake, the envelope burned a hole through her pocket with the same insistence her body had craved Zev last night. She looked at the counter where they’d made out, and shivers of heat skated through her. She closed her eyes, but that was even worse. She could still feel his hands in her hair and his hard length grinding against her center. Her eyes flew open, but she didn’t try to push away the lust pooling low in her belly as Zev’s voice trampled through her mind. I’m sorry, Carls. I’m so sorry. She’d thought he was apologizing for kissing her, but now that she was thinking about that moment more specifically, he had seemed like he’d wanted to say more.
Her nerves prickled as she pulled the envelope from her pocket and stared at her name, remembering the notes he used to leave in her car, in her locker at school, and taped to the outside of her bedroom window. She felt herself smiling with the memories, her pulse spiking as she ran her finger beneath the flap to open the envelope. But fear of the worst stole her smile, and she froze.