“Why didn’t you confront me? I lied to you!” I think of all the guilt I’ve felt over the years of keeping Luther a secret from Harmon, while all along he knew. How could I have been so blind? But then I understand. I had been too busy keeping my secrets to suspect Harmon of having his own. As if he can read my thoughts he echoes them with a shrug.
“You kept your secrets from me and I kept mine from you. I knew when you got that text from Rudy you wouldn’t tell me what was going on, so after you left our bedroom I took Rudy’s laptop into the guest room and checked to see where you were going. I saw Rudy wanted you to meet him here at the Point—yes, I figured out about your ‘safe place’ years ago. I knew something must have upset him if he wanted you to meet him here. I was afraid Lila might have told him some story about Paola so I ran out there after you left. When I got there I saw Lila in the clearing with Luther. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t telling him about Paola, but they were talking about Cora Rockwell’s diary, so I waited until he left to approach her. I just wanted to explain my side of the story before she went off spreading some half-baked lies about me.”
I stare at Harmon, aghast at how calmly he is describing behavior that could only be described as stalking.
“We walked toward the Point on the south path,” he goes on. “Lila explaining to me that I had ‘intimidated Paola into silence by our unequal power dynamic.’ Ha!” He barks a harsh one-syllable laugh. “What drivel these children spout these days! Then we heard you and Rudy leaving the Point and she wanted to follow you—to tell you and Rudy what Paola had told her, to get it out into the open. I tried to stop her . . .” He passes his hand over his face as if wiping the memory away. “She fell, Tess, I swear. It was an accident. I went down to see if I could help her but she was dead. What could I do? How would I explain what I was doing out here with her in the middle of the night? You know what people would have said—what it would have looked like. So I left her. I thought it would be dismissed as an accident. I didn’t know she had cut her hand or that the police would think that was a ‘defensive wound’ or that you’d leave me Rudy’s bloody sweatshirt to wear.”
“And when Rudy was taken in by the police after I told them the sweatshirt belonged to him?” I ask. “You didn’t come forward then.”
“I would have,” he cries, looking affronted at my accusation, “but I didn’t have time. Rudy ran out here and Luther took the blame. As he should have, after what he did to you and Rudy. Don’t you see, Tess? It’s all worked out as it should have. Luther has paid for what he did to you; Woody and Jean have paid for hiding it. Rudy is a hero! And Paola is fine! I spoke with her the morning after Lila died and all she was worried about was passing her AP Physics final. Which is what she should have been worrying about all along.” He steps back and holds out his arms to me. “Honestly, Tess, I’m glad you found out. You kept your secrets from me and I kept mine from you, but now everything is out in the open.”
I look at him, at the face I have loved and trusted, at his open arms. All I have to do is step into them and tell him that I believe him. What difference does it make if it’s true or not? I’ll let myself believe that nothing happened between him and Paola, that Lila’s death was an accident.
I know it won’t be that hard because I’ve lived with lies long enough already. And look at what those lies have done to me and Rudy—and Lila and Paola. If I hadn’t been blinded by my own lies I might have seen what Harmon was and protected them from him. I hold up my hand.
“No,” I say, “it’s not out in the open yet. We’ll go to the