with giant eyes from Laura, a snow globe that sang ‘It’s a Small World’ at a truly irritating pitch when you shook it from Letty, and a pair of fuzzy socks that said ‘What if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about?’ on the soles from Robert.
“I’ll give you your present later tonight,” Ari said with an exaggerated wink.
“It’s supposed to be a bad gift, Ari,” Letty said with a smirk. “Is this you finally admitting you’re bad in bed?”
I wanted to sink into the couch cushions.
“Why don’t you ask Holden what he thinks?” Ari said, his grin spreading.
“Uh, no, definitely don’t ask me that,” I said, very much wishing I could disappear.
“I’m sure he’s just fine,” Laura said, smiling indulgently. “He’s his father’s son, after all. It only stands to reason these things would be inherited.”
“Oh, Mom, gross.” Leah clapped her hands to her ears. “Too much information.”
“Maybe you should think about that before teasing your brother then,” Laura replied.
“I’m not even the one who was teasing him,” Leah grumbled.
“That’s just because Letty opened her big mouth first,” Ari said. “Anyway, I’ve been through a traumatic experience. You have to be nice to me.”
Letty rolled her eyes. “I don’t think getting dicked-down by the world’s hottest recluse really counts as trauma. Unless, again, the sex was actually terrible.” She smiled sweetly at Ari. “Feel free to spill if it was.”
“Annnnd on that note, I think it might be best to wrap this conversation up and move on to dinner,” Robert said with a broad smile. “As much as I believe that sex is an important and healthy part of life—yes, even the lives of old married people, Leah, don’t make that face—I don’t believe I actually need the details of any of my offspring’s proclivities.”
I’d never been more grateful.
“I feel awful,” I said to Ari as we wound our way through the house.
“What, because of Letty?” Ari tucked his arm through mine. “Don’t. She’s said way worse in my parents’ hearing before. They’re used to it by now.”
“Well, actually, I meant that I didn’t get gifts for anyone,” I said. “Though I do still kind of want to set myself on fire over the other stuff.”
“Please don’t worry about it, Holden,” Laura said, coming up on my other side as we turned down the hall to the kitchen. “After raising three children, I’m pretty sure Robert and I have lost our ability to be shocked by these things.” She hooked my other arm with hers, bracketing me. “And as for gifts, you kept Ari safe all this time. There aren’t enough socks and snow globes in the world to make up for that.”
“So, who’s hungry?” Robert asked as we came into the kitchen. “How many latkes am I making? Ten thousand or a hundred thousand?”
“Mmm, definitely a hundred thousand,” Letty said, grabbing a corkscrew and opening one of the bottles of wine on the kitchen table. “I’m starving.”
“Running your mouth really works up an appetite, doesn’t it?” Ari said, ducking out of the way as she tried to swat him.
“Do you mind if I watch?” I asked Robert, stepping up to join him at the stove. “I, uh, tried to make these a while ago and it was a disaster.”
“Not at all, not at all.” Robert sent me a sideways glance as he turned the burner on under the pan. “What did you do, if I may ask?”
“He added approximately a pound and a half of salt to each one,” Ari said from the table, taking two wine glasses from Letty. He took a sip from one and brought the other over to me. “It was a very sweet gesture though.”
“Don’t let my son make you feel bad about yourself,” Laura said. “Robert had never had latkes before he met me, and I was determined to make my mother’s recipe for him, even though I’m useless in the kitchen. I actually added the apple sauce and sour cream into the mixture before putting them in the pan. You’ve never seen such a curdled, lumpy mess.” She patted Robert’s arm. “Now we let him do all the cooking, and everyone’s much happier.”
We ate in the kitchen that night, the smell of hot oil and Hadley’s juniper candles wreathing the room with hominess and cheer. Edgecliffe did have a formal dining room—two, actually—but I couldn’t remember ever eating in them, even when my grandparents were around. Besides, it felt nice sitting with Ari’s family in the heart of the