be her mother’s primary concern, not how betrayed Olivia felt that her mother hadn’t told her something so significant in her life.
“Your secret wasn’t as safe as you thought. Apparently Doug Carlson takes his mother to the same multiple sclerosis clinic as you and saw you there last month being treated. He casually mentioned it to me. I told him he must be mistaken. How stupid of me. He wasn’t mistaken. I’m just the idiot whose mother doesn’t think she’s strong enough for the truth.”
If possible, Juliet looked more stricken. “It wasn’t like that. I promise. Oh, honey. I found out about the MS just as you were starting your new job. You had just moved into your new apartment and had started dating Grant and you seemed...happy. I didn’t want to be a burden to you. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to come home and take care of me.”
“What about since then? It’s not like you and I never speak. Grant and I aren’t together anymore. I’ve been at my job for four years. My apartment is no longer new. You could have mentioned it anytime since then. It’s not that hard to pick up a phone. Or forget about over the phone. We’ve lived in the same house for three weeks. You don’t think it might have come up during this time I’ve been here, while I left everything to come home and take care of you?”
Otis apparently didn’t like her tone. He jumped down from her mother’s lap and scurried over to her, rubbing against her leg until she picked him up.
“I should have told you. I’m sorry. I don’t have an excuse. The truth is, I prefer to forget it myself and pretend I don’t have MS. I know that probably sounds stupid to you but that’s how I’ve been able to cope with it. It can be a terrifying diagnosis.”
Olivia didn’t know that much about MS, other than she’d had a friend at work who had been diagnosed at a relatively young age. She knew it was a chronic autoimmune disorder affecting the central nervous system and that symptoms and outcomes could vary widely.
“I’ve been in remission most of that time. I have a few episodes here and there but mostly things have been okay. A little dizziness here and there and some trembling and double vision when I’m tired, but most of the time I don’t even notice.”
She definitely needed to do more research, she thought, then suddenly remembered why she was even here in Cape Sanctuary. Her mother was healing from a broken hip and concussion.
“What in the hell were you thinking, to climb a twenty-foot ladder when you have MS?”
Juliet winced. “Not one of my smarter decisions. I told you, I prefer to forget I have it, most of the time.”
“So you’re in denial.”
“I’m not. I know I have it. I take medication every day and I’ve completely changed my diet since I was diagnosed. Overall, I think I’m healthier than I’ve ever been.”
“Then why the secrecy?”
“I don’t know if I can explain it. It’s just... I refuse to give people another reason to pity me.”
“Who pities you?”
“Everyone! In the years since your father died, everyone in Cape Sanctuary has given me the identity of that poor young widow who lost her husband so tragically. And then when Natalie overdosed, it became so much worse. I have hated that. I want them to see me as more. As a person first, with opinions and causes and emotions. The last thing I want is for people to think of me as the poor widow with MS. Anyway, it’s not impacting my life or the garden center in any significant way, so why do people have to know my business?”
Okay, that rationale she could understand, especially knowing how fiercely independent her mother could be.
When her friend in Seattle had told Olivia she had MS, she had asked her not to tell anyone else about her diagnosis, saying she feared the information might impact her standing at work and could influence whether or not she received promotions or other career opportunities.
“Henry,” she exclaimed suddenly as another thought occurred to her.
Juliet swallowed hard. “Excuse me?”
“Does he know?”
After an extended pause, her mother shook her head.
The break between them was wholly her mother’s fault, because of this, she suddenly realized.
“You broke things off with him without telling him. That’s the reason. It has nothing to do with any age difference between you, does