The Scotch Series: The Complete Series (Scotch #1-3) - Penelope Sky Page 0,252

her. It wasn’t good enough. That hurts most of all…”

She kept her head bowed.

“I know I shouldn’t have lost control like I did…but what the fuck does it matter? If I die, everything goes to you. Honestly, death doesn’t sound so bad. Experiencing nothing but darkness…sounds peaceful. All I’m doing with my life is making money. And fuck, money doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have anyone to share it with, anyone to trust. Fucking sucks.” I regretted everything I said as soon as I said it. I shouldn’t have spoken my mind, opened my heart. I sounded pathetic, even to my own ears. “Forget everything I said. I’ll get back on my feet…just give me some time.”

She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t feed me empty words to make me feel better. She didn’t give me a stupid pep talk to get me on my feet. She just accepted me for who I was.

That was something I loved about her. I could be myself without consequence. She was all I had of a family, and I was grateful she was there. “You’ve always been there for me…I’m sorry I ever gave London a chance. I should have listened to you. You’re my family…she never was.”

She tucked her hair behind her ear and avoided eye contact with me.

I was probably making her uncomfortable by wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’d never done anything like that before because it was inappropriate and unprofessional, but the booze had clouded my judgment. I couldn’t erase my stupid mistake, but I could at least prevent it from getting worse by not talking. So I didn’t say anything else.

Ariel was quiet for an hour, just sitting at my bedside with me. She didn’t pull out her laptop and get to work. She just sat with me.

“You don’t have to wait with me,” I whispered. “I’m sure you have stuff to do. In a few hours, I’ll be good to go.”

“I’m staying, Crewe. The doctor warned me you might vomit and choke in your sleep.”

“Well, I’m awake now.”

“You could fall asleep again.”

I still didn’t want her to waste her time with me. “Send Dunbar in instead. I know you have more important things to do.”

Finally, she didn’t argue with me and stood up. “Is there anything I can get you?”

My head was still spinning, but I was aware of how empty my stomach was. “Food would be nice.”

“You got it.” She walked to the door to let herself out.

“Ariel?”

She turned around. “Hmm?”

“I’m sorry if I said anything rude before…I know I have a problem with that.” I did it to London one too many times.

She gave me a pained smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

I didn’t stop drinking, but I didn’t push myself that far again. Anytime I thought I was getting too close to my threshold, I cut myself off.

But I was definitely drunk every single day.

When the anger passed, I was left with pure misery. My life became filled with sleepless nights, productive work days, and pure emptiness. I didn’t go out and find a woman, and I didn’t call up a woman who would jump into bed with me.

I couldn’t get hard if I tried.

As days passed, I kept rethinking my final conversation with London. It was hard to believe because we seemed happy. The sex was great, the conversation was good…everything felt right. Or did I feel something she never did?

I felt like I was missing something, but I had no idea what it was.

I knew she took her phone because I hadn’t seen it lying around the house. I could call her if I wanted to, but I had way too much pride for that. If she didn’t want to be with me, I wasn’t going to try to convince her otherwise.

No matter how much I loved her.

I spent my time working a lot more than usual and also exercising more than I did before. Now that I had nothing to do with my free time except battle my depression, I tried to stay busy, but there was only so much I could do besides work, drink, and exercise.

Would I ever get over her?

I really thought she was the woman I could spend my life with. I really thought marrying her would be worth the sacrifice of diluting my royal bloodline. I gave up more for her than she realized, and I wondered if she ever grasped that.

Probably not.

There were days when I