The Science of Discworld IV Judgement Da - By Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart Page 0,133

back to … let me see … oh yes, the library of the borough of Four Farthings, England, wherever that may be. Are you sure?’

Marjorie smiled and said, ‘Oh yes, very sure; there is no telling what the council will do if I’m not there. Probably halve the budget and fill the place with anodyne Good Citizenship displays and other idiocies. Politicians only read books they have written, or those of colleagues they suspect might have mentioned them in their text. Or they simply want to pretend that they have read the latest touted bestseller to show that they are just like “the common people”, neglecting the fact that people aren’t all common and can spot a phoney at a glance.’ She paused, then added, ‘Sorry for the rant, sir, but I just had to get it out of my system. I’ve got to get back before they replace me with a yahoo who doesn’t even know where the damn word came from.’

She let Lord Vetinari refill her glass, and felt a lot better.

The following lunchtime, on the lawn in Unseen University, the Great Big Thing hung in the air, scintillating, twisting, coruscating, evaporating and gently spinning. It was, in a very strange way, alive, and yet not alive: like people are alive, and ships are alive, or even mountains – in their own strange way – are alive, but alive all the way through. Surrounding it was the usual squash of fervent young white-robed wizards, muttering about ‘thaumic energies’ and ‘slood derivatives’ and the kind of terminology that made Rincewind’s head ache. Their fingers were almost twitching in their eagerness to get going on the next stage of the Great Big Glitch … oops, no, the Great Big Experiment.

Ponder Stibbons was also there, with other members of the Inadvisably Applied Magic group, and of course all the senior wizards, who would not miss something like this, even for lunch. Ponder, after all the hand-shaking, said, ‘Well, Marjorie, I’m sure we are all sorry that you have to go, but I only need to press the button in front of me to put you back just where you were before you so abruptly ended up on this turf. As the Archchancellor said, it is doubtful that we will do this particular experiment again. Sometimes even wizards know when not to meddle.’

In the silence that followed, a high-pitched excitable voice could be heard from amongst the crowd of young wizards: ‘You know, I think I know what we got wrong …’

Just then the Librarian of Unseen University knuckled his way across the turf at speed. He stopped when he reached Marjorie, blew her a kiss and handed her a banana.

She blew back the kisss with an extra s as Ponder said, ‘I have looked for a suitable sentence to speed you on your way, Marjorie, and came across a much-liked one: What goes around comes around. Welcome to Roundworld! It’s only a page away.’ Then he pressed the button. ‘So, you will be back home before I have finished this senten—’

TWENTY-FOUR

* * *

NOT COLLECTING STAMPS

Although it is widely held that faith can move mountains, it has not reliably been seen doing so. Yes, of course it’s a metaphor – a powerful one, and a valid one. People have done, and will continue to do, amazing things because of their beliefs. But the main things that move mountains significantly are subducting tectonic plates, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. Oh, and rain and cold, given long enough.

There is no denying the power that faith has over human beings, and the sometimes remarkable acts that it can motivate, but it really is a curious way for Homo sapiens to behave. It requires acceptance of a rather strange mixture of moral precepts and the supernatural. There is no direct objective evidence for many beliefs that are central to the world’s great religions – but there are innumerable reports of miraculous events, holy people, longstanding authority and rituals that may go back thousands of years. Religions are grounded in deep culture, inculcating the present generation’s values in the next. And they are often desirable values, don’t get us wrong.

However, there is an evident danger if you ground your morality in authority and ineffable deities. What is moral simply becomes what is prescribed. God is good – but this can lead to the concept that anything can be deemed good if you can convince people that God so wills. Such as cutting off the head of an infidel,