at me,” Mason’s voice commands. I slowly let out a breath on the concerned face in front of me.
“Where am I?” I ask softly.
“The clubhouse. Doc gave you some meds. You scared the shit out of me Whit.” His eyes are wide with fear that I’d never guess Mason had in him.
“I don’t know what happened,” I admit. Mason runs his hand through his hair and comes over to sit on the bed next to me. He reaches for me, lifting me easily in his arms, and cradles me to his chest.
“You were screamin’. You wouldn’t wake up. It was like that night I found you in the hotel bathroom. Fuck me Whitley. You can’t do that shit to me again.” Mason’s words send a chill down my spine. If I doubted his feelings for me before, I sure as hell can’t now. I let him hold me. I like being pressed up against his strong body feeling safe.
“I’m sorry Mason.”
“For what?”
“For all of this. I never wanted you to be involved in this. I didn’t think he would ever really come back for me.”
“Fuck him. I’ll kill him,” Mason growls. I nuzzle even deeper into his chest and inhale the unique scent that is all him.
“All of my life I’ve been used. I was good at letting it happen Mason. I don’t know how to stop that. It’s what I am. I’m a whore. I fuck people because it calms me. I use sex to erase the past. I don’t even know how that makes any sense,” I mumble into his chest. Mason sighs and tightens his arms around me.
“We all handle shit differently. I don’t blame you, but I am stoppin’ it Whit. You wanna fuck? Fuck me. You wanna fight? Hit me. Whatever the fuck you need to do to get over it, you use me.” Pulling back, I look at him confused. No one has offered that to me. Aside from Jackson no one has cared if I was any more than a whore.
“That’s the whole damn problem Mason. I don’t want to use you. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want this to be over with. I want it to never happen again. I am what they made me to be. Just leave me alone Mason.” I climb out of his lap and he sighs as I walk across the room and huddle into myself in the corner. I hear him huff. I glance over as he stands and heads toward the door running his hands through his hair.
“I’ll let you have your space. I did it once before but understand what the fuck I’m sayin’ here Whitley. Space is a gift I’m givin’ you. I don’t have to give you shit and you know it. I will though, because you need it. You’re not leavin’ this clubhouse and you sure as hell aren’t leavin’ me. When my sister died I almost lost myself. When I found you, I found a piece of me. Don’t you dare for one goddamn second think that your selfish ass is takin’ that from me.” I look up and lock eyes with him for just a second.
“How did she die?”
I don’t know why that’s the only question that I want to ask, but the need to know is overwhelming me. There’s something about this whole thing that is killing me. Mason licks his lips as a sad look crosses his features.
“She killed herself.”
Chapter 27
Mason
I just drank until I passed out in the front room the last two nights. I know Whitley and Jackson are safe. Viking has guys set up all around the clubhouse, so I have no doubt they are safe. The only thing I doubt? Her; just Whitley. Have I been reading her all wrong this whole time? I saw the look in her eyes when I told her Briann killed herself. I didn’t tell her how she did it, but that’s irrelevant. I shove myself up off the couch, scrub my hands over my face, and make my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
“You ready to meet Manuel?” Viking’s voice comes from behind me. Taking a long drink from the bottle I nod my head before turning around to face him.
“You think I’m makin’ a mistake with her?”
“Don’t ask me that Mason.”
“I don’t think you are. She’s good to you man.” I glance over Viking’s shoulder and see Axle grinning like a fucking asshole.