know where he was, yeah?” Mason asks as his hands tighten around me.
“I haven’t talked to him since I ran away. Something happened and Alvaro had to run back to Cuba and I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t look my dad in the eye knowing that he had traded me for his debt to that man. I just… I just had to get out of there.”
Jackson’s fingers run over my knuckles in a soothing gesture. I can feel Mason tensing up behind me.
“Armando. What the fuck happened when you were with him?” he asks huskily.
“I can’t talk about that right now Mason. I just can’t do it.”
Panic sets in. The room begins to spin as I let my mind wander to that night. I feel sick to my stomach. I leap out of Mason’s arms and run for the bathroom. I can hear Mason and Jackson talking softly before a hand lands on the back of my neck massaging me gently. I can’t take it. I heave until nothing is left. Mason drops onto the floor behind me and pulls me back against his chest.
“I won’t push you right now. Not after what you just told me. How long ago was this Whit?” he asks softly. He runs his nose up my neck.
“It was eight years ago. I was thirteen when I was first raped by one of my dad’s drugged up friends. My dad was so fucked up he didn’t even notice it happening on the floor in front of him as he lay on the couch. Alvaro made me feel like he cared. I thought he loved me, and I thought I loved him too.”
“No, he’s a fuckin’ pig. A sick fuckin’ excuse for a man. You were a kid, Whit. He was a grown fuckin’ man. I wish I had known you then. I wouldn’t have let that happen to you.”
His words hit me in the chest like a freight train. I curl up in his arms and let him hold me.
“I know that now, but back then I thought it was love. He would buy me things and was nice to me after. When he left I just lost it, I tried to kill myself. More than once; obviously that never worked,” I giggle a little. Mason tightens his hold on me even more.
“I get that talkin’ about Armando is off limits right now, but I need to know Whit.”
“No, you really don’t. I don’t want you to. You have to work with him Mason. I’m not stupid. You will lose your cool just like you did on me out there. I don’t want you in any trouble because of me,” I tell him. Mason shifts moving so that he can pull my face to his.
“Do you not get it yet? Do you not understand that I want to protect you? Since that first night in the goddamn alley, I’ve wanted to keep you safe. I thought about you; those eyes. I wanted to keep you safe. I still do Whit.” Sobs creep their way up my throat and hiccup from my mouth.
“You can’t save me Mason. As much as I wished you could, but no one can save me. I can’t even save myself.”
“Why won’t you even let me try, Whitley? Let me try,” he begs as the tears fall down my face.
I lean into his chest and I cry. I let the tears that have been hiding for too long just fall where they want to. The pain, humiliation, the regret. I let it all fall down my cheeks.
“You have to let someone in Whitley,” Jackson’s voice comes from behind me.
I don’t pull away from Mason, not even when I feel Jackson’s hands on my back. Because if I am being honest with myself? I know I’m safe in Mason’s arms.
The longer I cry the heavier my chest feels. The thought of taking something to ease the pain is almost unbearable. Mason shifts lifting me in his arms when my exhausted body can longer hold itself up. He walks us into my room and lays me down on my bed. I can hear the rustle of clothing before I feel the bed dip. Mason wraps his arms around me, pulls me into him, and covers us up with my blanket. His warm breath dances over my skin as he talks.
“Why did you cut off all your hair Whit?” We already talked about this. Well, not entirely.