place I was once in. The place where I harbored all my feelings and filtered them through sex. I still want to do that, but with Mason it’s different. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m less than perfect. He doesn’t let me wallow in my head like I do when he’s not around. I should be afraid of that because the deeper I get with him the harder it’s going to be once he’s gone. I should understand that and run, but I’m welcoming that plunge when it finally happens. If I can have this clarity for even a short period of time, then I want it.
I want to be the girl that never felt anything. I want to understand what it was like for others that didn’t suffer through what I had to. I want to know what it feels like to grow up and find love. I want to know what it feels like to be loved.
“You lost in your thoughts again sweetheart? Care to share?”
I pull myself back into the present moment and shake my head.
“I just like being with you is all,” I admit. Mason smiles and it’s a smile that I can’t seem to hide from. He isn’t Satan. He isn’t a motorcycle club’s vice president. He isn’t a killer or a drug runner. He’s just Mason; the one I’m falling hard for. He’s the one I want to hold onto.
“I like bein’ with you too, Whit. I just wish you’d talk to me a little more. I wanna know you baby.” His words are like a stake to the heart. I reach up and run my fingers over his cheek and down the stubble on his chin.
“I’d like that too, but can you just give me some time? My past is,” I drift off shaking my head. Mason doesn’t move or interfere with what I’m trying to say. He gives me time. “It’s hard to talk about. It’s defined who I am as a person, and I don’t really know who I am anymore.”
Mason reaches up and cups his hands around the back of my neck, resting his forehead against mine.
“We have all the time in the world Whit. As much as I want to know things, I would never push you. I don’t want you breakin’ on me darlin’.” A tear slides down my cheek. Mason reaches up and wipes it away. We stare into each other’s eyes for a long time before he kisses me stupid, something that’s not hard to do these days. Mason is perfection wrapped up in a tough, lethal package.
Chapter 19
Mason
“Did you grow up here?” I ask Whitley as we walk around Little Havana. I fed her, and now I watch her as she licks her ice cream. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this relaxed since I’ve met her. It’s almost as if she’s a different person.
“In Miami? No, in Medley.”
“You have family there?” I ask. Her body tenses with that question.
“Um, honestly? I don’t really know. My dad is the only family I had. I’m not entirely sure where he is anymore,” she says. I can tell she’s trying to keep her tone even. There’s more to that story and I want it. Call me a selfish fucker, but I want to know everything there is to know about Whit.
“You didn’t keep in contact when you came out here?” I ask. Whitley narrows her eyes at me before tossing her ice cream into the trash. Her body language has totally changed. The relaxed girl I was just with is gone, and she’s morphed into the nympho I met the first night. Whit spins around and comes to a stop in front of me with her hands creeping their way up my chest.
“What’s with all the talk? There’s a ton of alleys around here that we haven’t even seen yet.” Her voice is soft and seductive just like the girl herself. I’ve been watching her lately and I’m quickly learning that sex is her way of deflecting, a shield she uses to protect herself. Not that I’m complaining about all the sex, but that doesn’t help her at all. Resting my hands on her shoulders I grin down at her.
“As much as I’d love to take you in every goddamn alley in Miami, we’re here for a reason woman.” I wink at her, and then grab her hand to spin her so she’s next to me as we start walking again.