I feel like I’m still back there; stuck in that house. Some days I feel like a new person, but Monster was right about one thing. I’m hiding who I truly am, and the more I’m around him the more I can feel her in there.
I don’t want to. I don’t want to be her anymore. She was bad. She killed. She hated to the point that she was nearly responsible for the deaths of more people. She was a monster herself and I don’t think I can go back to being her, yet weirdly at the same time, I miss her. I miss her confidence. I miss her smile. I miss the way she didn’t take shit from anyone. Most of all I miss the way I was able to look in the mirror and be able to see who I really was.
When I look at myself now, I don’t know who I am. I don’t know this girl that I’m trying so desperately to be. I’ve always been good at taking care of people in one way or another, but living a life hiding in the shadows was never my intention.
I was never afraid or naïve. I was bold. I was beautiful. I was fucking deadly.
Now I’m a shell of what I once was, the result of who I’ve made myself become. Being around Monster I can feel her clawing at my insides and begging me to step aside and let her back out. I think I want to. God, how I’ve missed her.
She was the rock in my life and now she’s buried so deep inside of me, all so the world doesn’t look at me the way they did. The way he did. I’m torn in half, and I’m not sure which part of me is going to win.
Chapter 15
Monster
She didn’t complain that she was tired, but I could feel her body jolting too many times for my liking. I took us through to Savannah and found a hotel before pulling over. I pull her arms up and she pulls them from around me as I climb off and lift her off with me. Gently I take the helmet off her head and I can see how truly tired she is.
“You should have told me you were tired,” I tell her.
She shrugs like it doesn’t matter.
“Come on,” I say as I usher her toward the door.
“You don’t think they’ll say anything about a giant ass like you with a handcuffed girl?”
She laughs no doubt thinking I’m going to let her go. Not a fucking chance in hell. She looks sexy as hell cuffed like she is. I can do whatever the fuck I want and there is nothing she can do to stop me.
“Not in this place,” I answer her with a wink.
She rolls her eyes and follows me inside. The girl at the counter looks up. From me, to her, then to the handcuffs, and back at me once more.
“You had to cuff her?” she asks with a southern drawl.
“She wasn’t cooperatin’ with me. You know the drill,” I tell her with a smile.
“You never learn do you Monster?”
Nikki smiles at me before she moves around the counter to give me a hug.
“Oh that’s just great. She knows about you and your handcuffs. I take it I’m not the first one you’ve forced to go on a journey with you?” Kyza remarks sarcastically next to me. Nikki pulls back and smiles over at her. She moves to shake her hand but stops because of the cuffs.
“Okay. I’m Nikki. Nice to meet you.”
“This is Kyza,” I tell her nodding toward her.
Nikki smiles as she moves back around the desk and starts typing away at her keyboard.
“Kyza, the kidnapped girl from Florida. The one cuffed and taken against her will.”
I think it’s cute. No, I think it’s downright adorable the way she thinks that matters to anyone here.
“You say kidnapped, I say encouraged to take a trip.”
“Excuse me? Encouraged would have been something like, ‘Hey Kyza, you really should take some time for yourself.’ Not pinning me to the bed and cuffing me,” she snaps and I chuckle.
“I didn’t hear you complainin’ when you thought you were gettin’ my dick again,” I remind her. Her eyes narrow to slits and it makes my cock respond and go rock hard.
“Don’t forget I stabbed you asshole.”
“Okay, so I’ll put you guys in room ten. It’s around the back as usual,” Nikki chimes in causing our argument to stop for