stop acting like her father Viking,” Whitley says to me.
My eyes jerk to hers. She’s right isn’t she? Fuck me. That’s exactly what I’m doing. No, fuck that. I’m acting like her old man not her father.
“Why don’t you worry about you and your man and let me worry about me and my girl, yeah? I ain’t actin’ like a father. I’m actin’ like a concerned man.”
Whitley’s eyes widen a little at my outburst, but before anyone can say anything further I turn and walk back outside. This is all a load of bullshit and I am not in the mood for it. I have a run to the docks coming up plus all this shit with Eric and his little group of bitches. Maybe I did fuck everything up with her? I start to stomp my way down the steps when her voice stops me. “What the fuck do you want from me?” she screams from behind me. I turn to look at her as she trudges down the steps behind me.
“What do I want? I want you to act like an adult and like you’ve got a little common sense. I get you’re young and you need space, but fuck Carnie does it have to be while you’ve got some goddamn people after you?”
She watches me while she makes it the few final steps until she’s right in front of me. She’s one step up from me, putting us at equal height. She can’t look away from me now. We’re eye to eye.
“You don’t get it Viking. This has nothing to do with my age,” she says and stomps her foot.
I chuckle at that, but I know she’s trying to make a point here.
“Then what’s it about?”
“I told you I was bored. Do you know that all I ever did was sit in that apartment Eric and I shared? I didn’t go out. I wasn’t allowed to have any friends. My life is nonexistent Viking. I’m nonexistent.” Her face flushes and tears fill her eyes. “I’m twenty-two-years-old and I’m nothing. I have absolutely nothing going for me. I have no friends. I don’t even have a job.” Sobs choke her. Her hands come up to cover her mouth. She’s ripping my goddamn heart out with her words.
“You’re not nothin’ Carnie. He held you back. I don’t wanna do the same thing, I just don’t want you to get hurt either.”
I can only hope that she understands my concern for her. When she doesn’t respond I reach for her and pull her into me. I hold her tightly.
“I’m suffocating Viking. I don’t know what I’m fucking doing anymore.”
Her cries become louder and harder. I take a deep breath and sigh before I pull away and reach up to cup her cheeks.
“What we’re doin’ is this. I’m gonna handle that asshole Eric. I’m gonna make him regret ever fuckin’ with you. Then you are gonna enroll in college and become whatever the hell you wanna be. That’s what we’re doin’ Carnie.”
She looks at me and shakes her head, “I can’t afford college. I don’t even know if I’d be accepted. I just…”
I crush her lips to mine to silence her. That’s more than enough of her bullshit talk. I’m sick of hearing it now. When I pull away she’s breathless.
“I didn’t say any of that. What I’m askin’ you is if you really wanna be with me? I understand if you don’t want to. I’ll accept it if you’d rather find your own way, but I need to know,” I tell her.
I know I’m practically begging her. I need to know that she’s all in with this. With us. Otherwise I’m fucking Fin over for no reason. I’m causing a rift that doesn’t even need to be there.
“I’m in Viking. I’ve been in. I’m sorry I’m causing so much trouble.”
“Shut up. Get your ass on that bike so that I can take you home. If I knew the clubhouse was botherin’ you so much we could have gone elsewhere. We didn’t have to stay there,” I inform her.
Carnie cocks her head to the side and takes in what I just said.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t live at the clubhouse Carnie. I just thought you would be more comfortable there,” I chuckle as I jog down the stairs with her close behind me.
“What the hell?”
“What? I have a house Carn. I was only stayin’ at the clubhouse to be closer to you.”