out of battle and not take care of them,” she murmured.
“In Heaven—”
“You aren’t in Heaven now, Az. This is what’s left of the real world, and it’s the best you’re going to get. You said you fell because you wanted Heaven to help these humans? Well you’re here now. You’re their best chance of survival. Quit fucking around and show-boating and actually do some good. Learn to live with them, respect them, protect them.”
It was a hard and unsympathetic speech and I suspected it was meant, at least in part, for herself too.
“Do you...do you remember what it was like before you fell?” I asked, trying to twist to look at her. But she had a good grip on my sore wing and I gave up at the first twinge.
Deyva was quiet. Her breath was making the downy feathers up at my joint flutter. I wanted to raise my wings and have her slide in underneath, wrap herself against my back, stroke my feathers over her shoulders and hold her to me. I missed contact with another body, cuddling even.
“A little,” she whispered, fingers pinching and smoothing a broken shaft.
I blinked at the tile wall and smiled slowly. “Do you remember what it was like between angels and your kind? The feasts of flesh and touch? Don’t you miss it?”
I expected her to tell me to shut up, or for her to jump up from the bench and leap onto my lap to swallow down another mouthful of my energy in a rough kiss, like she had in the battle. What I didn’t expect was the bright giggle at my back.
“Jesus, Az, are you that horny?” she laughed.
I frowned and huffed. “No! No, I just...miss, you know, the touch. Angels are—”
“Very affectionate little sex fiends, I remember,” Deyva said fondly, and then she took mercy on me, reaching underneath my wing to stroke my back as she worked. “And yes, I did miss that. For millennia.”
I waited, hearing the unspoken ‘but’ at the end of that statement. I glanced over my shoulder and around my wing, blinking at her. She was busy examining my feathers and her eyes were an almost cat-like golden-green. She was sated. On only two human men? Even if things had gone well with Zach, I probably still would’ve wanted more. I hadn’t thought of myself as a sex-fiend like Deyva said, only that Heaven was a place full of love in all its forms, and that usually included a fair share of physical appreciation for one another.
“Who knows,” Deyva murmured, pinching another flight feather shaft, her fingers coated in the fragrant oil. “Maybe I don’t remember it that well, so it’s easier to live without. Maybe I was working the rounds in Hell too long. But things with Stav and Zach are...a little more precious. It’s not about what I was created for, it’s about who they are, and who I am to them. It makes me think about who I am to myself too. In Heaven, it was always us as we were a reflection of God.”
“Your time with them is selfish,” I said, not meaning to be unkind.
“Personal,” Deyva corrected with a soft smile.
“You’re not feeding to your fill.”
“Eh. No. But I am feeding enough, and I’d rather take what they’re willing to offer than snatch a meal from any angel in Hell. Or, any angel who is missing his family and looking for a pleasant distraction from loneliness.”
“So you’re saying I should just be lonely?” I whined, mostly teasing.
“I’m saying, if you want your dick sucked by anyone in this town, you have to fucking earn it, Az. And to quit hitting on me now that you’ve decided I’m not some Hell-crusted bottom feeder. My boyfriends are already mad at you, and they’ll try and kick your ass if they hear about it, and then I’ll have to finish kicking your ass on their behalf.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Boyfriends? I knew you came to gloat. How was it? Was Zachariah especially decadent? His ass is very plush.”
“I will bite your dick off, Az,” Deyva said sweetly, sliding off the bench. “Now, wrap that towel around your waist.”
I did so.
“Good, stand up. Hold your arms out at your sides.”
I stiffened, lifting my arms slowly at my sides, watching Deyva approach me warily. “Did you mean you’re going to bite my dick off now? Can’t you just lick it for a minute or two fir—”
My words stopped abruptly as Deyva pressed herself