Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye - Jacquelyn Middleton Page 0,76
thick, metallic taste in my mouth.”
“Blood?” He winced.
Leia nodded. “I looked for Sarah, but it was so dark, and still. I could only see a few feet ahead of me. I thought the crumpled shapes nearby were torn up seats…until they moaned. I called out for Sarah, but she didn’t answer. That’s when I started to panic. I had to get out of there. I had to find her.
“My leg was killing me, bleeding pretty bad, but I dragged myself into the aisle. All our stuff was scattered: skates, iPods, burgers—everywhere. I heard friends crying, scrambling to get out. And that’s when I spotted Sarah’s new medal, wedged under me. Just seeing it made me feel less panicked, like it meant she must be close by, you know? I picked it up and put it in my pocket to keep it clean. I remember thinking she’d kill me if I got blood all over it.”
Tarquin squeezed her hand. “Where’d you find her?”
The sting in Leia’s eyes begged her to blink. “I didn’t. It was only when the fire department rescued me that I heard where they found her—alone in a snowy ditch. She’d been thrown clear.”
“Holy shit.”
“I wanted to see her, but she was surrounded by paramedics.” Leia’s voice wavered as she gulped back a sob. “I-I heard her crying…” Tears spilled through her lashes and trickled down her cheeks.
Tarquin drew her in and rubbed her back softly.
“I still feel guilty that I wasn’t there for her. I should have been with her.”
“But you were hurt, too! You were trapped—it’s a miracle you both survived. Did anyone…”
She nodded through her tears. “Four people died—the bus driver, two coaches, our friend Clara. It was awful. No one walked away unscathed.”
“Your scars…?”
“Yeah. I had deep cuts, a chipped tooth, a concussion, a ruptured spleen. My right shin bone was sticking out of my leg.”
Tarquin winced. “Jesus.”
“But compared to Sarah”—a sob stuck in Leia’s throat—“Sarah suffered a bunch of puncture wounds, a concussion, a crushed kidney, a broken collarbone. Then, they told us she had shattered vertebrae in her back. She’d never walk again, let alone skate.”
Tarquin looked sick. “What you both went through…at such a young age. I’m so, so sorry.”
There’s so much kindness and empathy in his eyes. He’s not just saying these things. He really means them. “Thanks. It was brutal at first. Sarah was in constant agony. You’d think being paralyzed from the waist down would mean she’d be pain-free, but that’s not how all spinal cord injuries work. It’s like the brain and nerves can’t communicate properly. It sets off all sorts of awful sensations—burning, tingling, spasms. Her moods were all over the place, too.”
Tarquin nodded.
“She was angry, depressed…to be nine years old and in hospital for months, unable to finish the school year or play with friends… She had just started to feel some independence as a little kid and it was all snatched away.” She wiped tears from her cheeks. “Jeez, look at me. It’s been fifteen years, but it’s amazing how it all comes flooding back. The scars fade, but…” She sniffed.
“That horror stays with you, right?”
Leia looked down and found Tarquin’s hand entwined with hers. “We both had nightmares, for a long time. I was scared to leave the house for a while. I wouldn’t get on a bus if you paid me, even with Mom by my side. The thought alone made me nauseous.” Just like when lights go out suddenly. I still freak out in the dark.
“Our therapist diagnosed both of us with PTSD. It took years, but we worked through it—mostly.” Leia swept her hair off her forehead. “It’s strange what sticks. Sarah still won’t touch burgers, and we’re both nervous if we see big trucks coming toward us on the road. But we moved on and learned to live with our new normal. I plan more now, worry more. When I’m somewhere new, I always check where the emergency exits are. And I cut to the chase—ask for exactly what I want. I hate being a passenger. I need to be in control…in case you haven’t noticed.”
Leia raised her eyes to Tarquin’s, half-expecting him to jump in with a light retort, but he didn’t. No Spice Girls or Star Wars jokes. No sexualizing my ‘in control’ comment. His respect and empathy warmed her heart. He’s all about fun and risk-taking but can be so caring and sensitive when it matters, too.
“Well, given everything you’ve been through, that’s totally understandable.” He