Say Hello, Kiss Goodbye - Jacquelyn Middleton Page 0,118

she brushed crumbs off her jeans. “My therapist said to start again when I’m ready. I’ve been carrying it with me just in case. Here”—she reached out—“I’ll put it away before we spill tea on it.”

Sarah shifted her plate and filled the vacant space with Leia’s book. “Do you bitch about Violetta in here?”

What? Leia half-chuckled. “It’s not that kind of journal, Saz.” God, enough with the questions. Just give it back! She kept her expression neutral, hiding her displeasure. If I make a fuss, Saz will definitely dive in.

Sarah flicked backward through the sheets until she returned to the crinkly page.

Uh, what’s she doing? Leia’s stomach rolled, her appetite for cake and banter gone. Fuck, she can’t read that! “Saz, c’mon. Give it back,” she pleaded through clenched teeth, but Sarah had already begun reading the blotchy entry.

August 23, I was grateful for:

1. reuniting with Tarquin. It felt like home, just me & him.

2. we talked & flirted, then he said, “I love you, Leia. I’m IN love with you. I have been for months.”

“Oh. My god!” Sarah gasped.

Fighting a lump in her throat, Leia thrust her hand between the two cake stands, snatching the journal. “I can’t believe you!” A burning sensation prickled her nose.

Sarah’s misty gape followed the book’s retreat. “Ley…”

“First you read my texts, now this?” she hissed, her volume discreet. Glaring glassy-eyed at the page, stained and rippled by tears shed six weeks ago, a twinge of déjà vu creased Leia’s brow. I sobbed myself into an anxiety attack writing this. Her chin trembled as the rest of the journal entry blurred beneath her gaze.

3. Tarquin LOVES me! My heart felt like a red balloon, soaring in the cloudless sky, his beautiful words lingering in the August sunshine. A part of me wanted to breathe them in, feel their warmth, their joy—but I couldn’t. My best laid plans pinched & poked, dragging me back down to Earth. Once a skater, always a skater. I stuck the landing & aced my performance.

A sad ache swelled in her chest. This brings it all back, how much it hurt letting him go. She whisked away fresh tears and snapped the journal shut, dragging the zipper around its cover, sealing her secrets behind its metal teeth. “Thanks for making me cry in Fortnum’s, Sarah.” Leia stole a sweeping glance at their neighboring tables, catching the uncomfortable winces and loud whispers from the rapt Italians. Great. A blush darkened her pale cheeks.

“He said he loved you?” Sarah leaned forward. “But he was with Cressida then.”

“No. They broke up before he flew to New York.”

“You never said! My god, Leia?! He was single? And in love with you!”

Leia bowed her head, a forlorn huff escaping. “You’re not helping.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because look at you!” Leia grabbed her bag from the floor and stuffed the journal inside. “You’re swooning. You’ve practically got cartoon hearts dancing in your eyes.”

Sarah pressed her lips together. “And you walked away without telling him how you felt?”

I’m so pissed at her. This is not the time nor the place. Leia blinked, unsuccessfully curbing her tears. Shit! They won’t stop! Skirting stares from the room, she rooted through her bag, retrieving a tissue. “I went for closure, remember? You agreed it was for the best.” She dipped her chin. Safe behind her hair, Leia dabbed her eyes.

“Don’t put this on me!” said Sarah. “I agreed with putting Frill-Seekers first right now—not forever. And I would’ve kept my mouth shut if I’d known you’d be this devastated leaving him behind. Ley, that journal entry screams of regret.”

It doesn’t scream… Leia choked back a sob, refusing to acknowledge her sister. This is exactly why I didn’t tell her, comments like that. Her watery gaze roamed their table. All this expensive food and now I’m too upset to eat. Balling up the tissue, she dropped it into her purse and reluctantly pinched the dark chocolate tart from the cake stand, placing it in the middle of her crumb-speckled plate.

“So, do you?” Sarah pushed. “Regret walking away?”

Like it matters now. Leia hesitated then plunged her fork into her mini-dessert’s rich chocolate ganache. “For the millionth time, Saz…it wouldn’t work! For lots of reasons. For one thing, he’s in London, and I’m in New York.”

“But you’re here now.”

“I’m leaving first week of December. You know that.” Leia stuffed a bite-sized chunk of tart between her lips and chewed, its decadent flavor sparking little joy on her tongue. I can’t eat this. The