stunning, but that’s where it ends. She’s all fluff. No substance at all.”
“I take it you don’t see yourself with Her.”
“God no,” Raphael scoffed. “Even if She weren’t awful, She’s not exactly my taste. I always imagined myself with someone warm. Someone whose smile lights up the room. Who has a laugh—a memorable one.”
Tobias chuckled, shaking his head, and Raphael’s face dropped. “What’s so funny?”
“She sounds nothing like you. You want your opposite.”
Raphael leaned back on his elbows. “I’m a scholar. I spend all day with worldly types. They don’t appeal to me. I’d want to marry someone kind. Someone who wears her heart as a badge of honor.”
“Well, I’d prefer someone like—”
“Leila?”
Her name hit him like a punch. Raphael stared at him in the most casual manner, but Tobias was paralyzed, his control slipping from his fingers.
“I have to commend you,” Raphael said. “You’ve managed to be much subtler than most men in your position would’ve been.”
Tobias clenched his jaw. “If you tell anyone…”
“I won’t.”
“I swear to God, Raph—”
“I won’t tell.”
“How can I be sure?” Tobias spat.
“Because I’ve known for a week and haven’t said a word. Until now. To you.”
Blood pulsed up Tobias’s throat, burning his cheeks. A whole week. He slung his arms over his knees, shamed and demeaned.
“How many challenges have you failed on her behalf?”
Tobias sighed. “Three. Maybe four. Depends on how you look at it.”
“And the drawings?”
“All of her. That’s when I knew.”
“Such an honest man,” Raphael said. “Can’t even lie in his art.”
“Do the others know?”
Raphael let out a snort. “Of course not. You give them too much credit. You know they’re all idiots, right? You’ve met them, yes?”
His words were lighthearted, but to Tobias they carried weight. “You think I’m a fool.”
“Leila’s smart. Pretty. I understand the appeal.”
“Well, I’m painfully aware of the mess I’m in. Here I am, risking my life for Cosima…and I want Leila.”
The silence that followed stung, as a part of him had hoped Raphael would have a solution.
“I tried to like Cosima,” Tobias said. “To keep an open mind. But She’s cold and self-serving. And Leila…”
“Is neither of those things.”
“Leila is everything She’s not. Except beautiful. They’re both very beautiful. But Leila’s beauty runs deep.” He grimaced. “Cosima’s just sits on the surface. Like a film.”
Raphael laughed, and Tobias’s eyes shot toward him. “What?”
“You’re enamored.”
Tobias stared out at the courtyard ahead. “I think about her…all the time.”
“Do you love her?”
“…I don’t know. How can you tell?”
“Hell if I know.”
The two sat in silence, gazing over the fortress before them—the green trees, open fields, and the massive wall sealing them in. Reality. It stared Tobias in the face, completely unleashed from its hiding spot in the back of his mind.
“God, how the hell did we get here?” he asked. “I never thought this would happen. Certainly never thought I’d compete in this damn tournament.”
Raphael quietly eyed Tobias over. “Your sister…that’s why you entered, yes? I saw her during the Reverence. Looks as though something happened to her.”
Tobias nodded.
“I have a brother,” Raphael said. “Older. A worthless shit. Wastes his time with whores and gambling. Not much of a role model, that’s for certain. I spent my life trying to be as different from him as possible. Threw myself into my studies, became a Keeper at the Archives. Our parents would’ve been proud. That’s what they wanted for us, after all.” He scowled. “Then I learned that my brother, the stupid cock, had gotten himself into the biggest heap of them all. Lost a bet. Owed a massive amount of coin to some pirate. Who gambles with a pirate?”
He ran his hand through his curly black hair, his dark eyes carrying a contained anger. “Pirate cut off his finger as a warning. Promised to send his cock next, then slit his throat. So here I am in the bloody Sovereign’s Tournament, bailing my useless older brother out of another blunder. Risking my life to spare his—stupid, since he wasted his in the first place.” He shook his head. “I’m a bigger fool than him. Should’ve let him die.”
“You did what any good man would’ve done, because he’s your brother.”
“Well, never again,” Raphael said. “That lump of coin is the last he’ll hear of me—if I survive the tournament, that is. I guess the statement is true either way.”
“I suppose it’s safe to say neither of us entered for the right reasons.” Tobias glowered. “For The Savior. And for glory.”
“To hell with glory. You know who finds this tournament glorious?