Saving Lord Berkshire - Laura Beers Page 0,59
my best friend,” he shared, hearing the anguish in his own voice. “He was what I aspired to be.”
“Your father must have been a remarkable man,” she responded.
“He was.”
“I would have liked to have met him.”
He found himself chuckling at that thought. “He would have loved you.”
“Truly?”
With a bob of his head, he replied, “My father was rather opinionated, and he loved nothing more than to participate in lively debates. It didn’t matter with whom.”
Edward shifted his gaze towards the window again before he continued. “It is nearly impossible to live in my father’s shadow,” he admitted dejectedly. “I will never be as good as he was.”
“Why do you say that?” Miss Blackmore asked with compassion in her voice.
“My father excelled at everything he touched,” he shared. “There was nothing that he wasn’t good at.”
She eyed him closely as she remarked, “You seem to be doing quite well for yourself.”
“I am,” he revealed. “I nearly doubled our profits at my estate this past year, and my tenants are happy.”
“That is wonderful news.”
“Is it?” he asked. “I just keep waiting to fail, waiting to confirm what I already know.”
“Which is?”
He sighed. “That I will always be second best.”
“What a sad way to live.”
“No,” he replied with a shake of his head, “it is being realistic. I know my own limitations.”
“But do you know your strengths?”
Her question caught him off guard. “Pardon?”
Miss Blackmore’s expression softened. “Comparing yourself to others takes the joy out of life and replaces it with heartache and sorrow. Everyone has their own strengths, along with their limitations.”
“I must admit that my joy died alongside my father,” he confessed softly.
Edward could only seem to watch as Miss Blackmore reached for one of his clenched hands, and as he met her gaze, he was surprised by the kindness that he saw within them.
“Joy does not come naturally to any of us,” she explained. “You have to choose joy and keep choosing it every single day.”
“It is not that simple,” he argued.
“It is.”
He went to pull back his hand, but she held firm. Then, she smiled. It was a perfect smile, charming and disarming.
“Everyone’s journey is unique, and I don’t believe we are destined to do it alone,” she murmured.
“Meaning?”
“You must share your burdens with others, if you want help.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need help,” he declared. “Not from you. Not from anyone.”
“I think you do.”
“I don’t!” he shouted.
Despite his boorish tone, Miss Blackmore didn’t attempt to shy away from him. “Didn’t you once tell me that a strong person asks for help?”
“I did, but I—”
Speaking over him, she asserted, “You have to let people into your life and allow them to help you.”
“No, I am doing just fine without anyone’s help.”
Her smile grew, much to his great annoyance. “Are you now?”
“Yes.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You seem rather angry at life.”
“I am,” he replied curtly. “Life has not been particularly kind to me.”
Miss Blackmore took his hand and gently unclenched his fingers, one by one. As she looked down at his opened hand, she said, “You may attempt to hide yourself from the world, but I now know the real you.”
“Who do you think I am?”
“You are a good man, with a kind, loving heart,” she replied.
He swallowed slowly. “I am not a good man.”
“You are right, you are not just a good man,” she agreed. “You’re a better man than most.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked, leaning closer to her.
“Because I have listened to the things you have said, and not said,” she shared. “They have told me everything I need to know about you.”
“But how can you say that? I am failing with Kitty…”
She spoke over him. “Are you? After all, you are in a coach bound for Gretna Green in an attempt to save her.”
He was now close enough to see the brown flecks in her soft blue eyes, and he found himself transfixed. “I have done nothing to deserve your praise,” he murmured.
“That is true,” she responded, “but it has nothing to do with deserving.”
As his eyes searched hers, he asked, “Then why do you compliment me?”
“Because we are friends,” she replied, her eyes darting towards his lips.
Friends.
He wanted to be more than friends with Miss Blackmore.
As he continued to watch her, he knew it wouldn’t take much effort to lean forward and press his lips against hers. But would she welcome his advances? Frankly, he didn’t know that answer. And he didn’t dare risk the chance of losing her forever by being too