Saving Amber - Zoe Dawson Page 0,57
attack.”
She regarded him with a skeptical look on her face. “I see. So, you couldn’t stop…”
“No. I couldn’t. Not at first. It was my mission, Amber. I had to carry it out to the letter before I was free to do anything else.”
It had been something he’d learned through training, but it wasn’t put to the test until Banyan. Then it had become stark reality. “It’s easy in theory. You fulfill your mission. You know what that is and it’s in granite. But, in practice, to let people die for documents…not so clear-cut in the heat of the moment.”
“Oh, Tristan. That must have been so hard.”
“People died, Amber, including the guy I’d bonded with at basic. He was a good guy and I had to…” He stopped talking, his jaw taut, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
For a moment he couldn’t speak, as he let the heat of her compassion warm that cold, cold part of him. “It was part of my job to protect anyone in the consulate, but when the attack started, I was holding them off so that documents could be destroyed.” Damn, but that had rankled. It was his mission there, but the thought that even a split second in getting to the ambassador and the people who had died might have made the difference. “There weren’t enough of us. I had suggested to the guy responsible for protecting the ambassador that he should beef up security. He thought I was inexperienced and talking out of turn. He told me to do my job and he would do his.”
“That’s not on you, Tristan.”
She was right there. “No, but I have to reconcile my actions, Amber. My mission required me to ignore my buddy while he died on the other side of the door, a door that I couldn’t open.”
It warred with leave no man behind and protect your platoon member’s back. He’d had no choice. “When the documents were destroyed, I tried to protect the ambassador. I was alone and wounded at the end and…although the documents were destroyed, I lost the ambassador and three other people. Once help arrived, I was not looked at…kindly by NCIS. They cut me no slack. It was more like I was being interrogated instead of being interviewed. After that, I couldn’t continue in the corps as a Marine security guard. I applied to and was accepted into sniper training, then into recon.”
“You’ve been through so much and I have so much respect for you. I know it’s hard to think that James died tragically, but Tristan, it’s not your fault. Just like the consulate deaths aren’t on you. You did your duty during that event. You don’t have to keep feeling you need to atone for those deaths.”
He gave her a curt nod. She said the same thing Doc Cross said. But eighteen months ago, he was a different guy. Stressed-out, combat weary, his barriers all in place. Maybe not so much anymore. James had a hand in breaking them down, and Amber disarmed him like no other person he’d ever met in his life.
Feeling he was stepping across a very dangerous line, and sharply aware of how hard his heart was pounding in his chest, he covered the hand on his chest. The feel of her was almost enough. Almost.
His heart lumbering, he tightened his hold, rubbing the back of her hand. “Thank you, Amber.” He didn’t want to let her in, but he felt that it was just too late. She was already there, and he was only asking for trouble.
“That was Dr. Thompson on the phone. Must be about Randall Mayer’s autopsy.”
This time when they stepped into the morgue, Amber stopped dead. Dr. Thompson was sporting a huge black eye and favoring one arm.
“What happened?” Amber asked.
He forced a smile and said, “I was clumsy and walked into a door. I’ll be fine.”
It looked more to her that someone had punched him.
“What do you have for us on Randall?”
“He died two days ago, approximately an hour after he tried to run you down.”
“Cause of death?”
“Hypothermia.”
“Could you please send the report to my email?”
“Of course. You’ll be leaving?” His eyes flicked to Tristan, then back to her.
“Yes, the ballistics on Mayer’s rifle matched the bullet fragments you found in Connelly.”
“Looks like this is wrapped up. Have a safe trip back home.”
“I’m actually heading to Aruba for a vacation.”
“Even better.”
They left the morgue. “I guess we’ll never know what happened on the mountain, although why James