Saving Amber - Zoe Dawson Page 0,23

hard dick. He gasped a little at the feel of her hands, so cool and soft, gliding back up his chest.

His breath hitched and he sent his hands down her back, caressing, exploring, interpreting every graceful curve, every plane and hollow. Lifting her into him, he pressed her hips to his, pressed her into his arousal, letting her know how badly, how urgently, he wanted her. She wrapped her arms around him and hung on, mirroring his actions as he kissed her throat, her shoulder. He felt her tongue dip into the hollow at the base of his throat, and the flames of desire leaped, licking at his sanity.

How had she gotten to him so fast? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything and that made him remember and making him remember, brought back the confusion and the fact that if he let this happen now, he would regret it. Not because he didn’t want it to happen. Damn, he was crazy for her to do everything she was doing and more.

It was about her in a deep, more fundamental way than he could ever have imagined, and if it had been any other woman, he’d already be inside her. Doing her. Taking her.

But that’s not what he wanted with Amber. He wanted something more, and that’s what made him bury his face in her neck and why the soft sound of despair came out of him so involuntarily.

“Tristan.”

He stilled, hearing his name whispered so intimately. It threatened to pull him back in, but he resisted, clenched his hands in the silky garment she was wearing.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t. I’m screwed up and I can’t do something with you until I get my head straight about it. I would regret it and I so don’t want to do that.”

“What is it?”

“I devoted my life to the corps. I’m entangled and entwined with it and I can’t seem to separate—” He stopped again, shook his head again. “I don’t do long-term commitments. I have casual sex.”

“What are saying? The corps comes first, even in this?”

He looked her in the eyes. “It always has and I…”

“You don’t have to say anything else.” Her face fell and the wonderful openness that had been there evaporated. She closed down, and where there had once been desire, now showed only hurt.

She pushed on his chest and he saw the blood from his cut on her clothes. She opened and reached into the medicine cabinet, pulling out bandages. He felt like a fool and didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. She pushed him again until he was sitting on the commode.

He was going to say that this was more already and that he’d better stop it now before he got in too deep, got them in too deep.

And right there was the raw, stunning truth of it. Shocking, really, since he’d never come up against that particular problem before. And he sure as hell hadn’t expected to here, now.

“Amber.”

“Please, don’t talk. I don’t want to know that I’m a secondary thought.”

“That’s not it,” he said adamantly.

“Okay,” she said. “The corps comes first. I get it. Excuse me if I’m sensitive about being an afterthought. I hate it. I’ve had a similar situation just recently where I came in second-best and I’m just not up to that again.”

He rose and grabbed her upper arms, his cut stinging now, dragging her against him. “What? Damn, Amber. You should have mentioned that,” he said testily.

“I’m not interested in spilling my guts to someone who’s been nothing but disagreeable since I met him, especially about getting dumped.” Her face registered her surprise and then she looked downright embarrassed. “I can’t believe I just said that. Jeez, Michaels, you bring out the very best in me.”

“Look, I’m not happy about this, either. It’s complicated.”

“Right, and you hate that. You just want your sex easy and uncomplicated. Well, I’m easy. Wait, that didn’t come out right. I mean I can be casual about it and uncomplicated. I’m only here for a few days and then I’m off to the beach…alone.

“I wish this was easier,” he said through clenched teeth. “I can’t even unravel it myself and until I do, I’m not going to do something that I would regret.”

“Oh, for the love of Pete! Why couldn’t you have just…been…more of a…an…insensitive jerk?” she said and tried to get out of his grip.

For some reason that made him laugh and she wasn’t amused at all. Damn if he didn’t want